Sunday, July 21, 2019

Washing the Dog

Grace jumped up onto the bed and laid down next to me. It was as if someone had heaped a large pile of freshly peeled dirty socks on my head. I about gagged.

“Nope, nope, nope! Grace, get down,” I said to her. “This shit’s gone way too far!”

She went into the living room and jumped up onto the couch. It’s OK. It’s “her” couch.

I came out of the bedroom and announced, “You need a bath.”

She gave me that coy look as she lightly thumped her tail.

I went into the bathroom, and cleared the area out. This shit always gets messy. I started pulling towels out of the cabinet. The hair dryer too.

Grace isn’t crazy about baths, but she doesn’t avoid them either. She probably felt long overdue for one which is why she voluntarily sauntered into the bathroom. I helped her into the tub and commenced with the bathing.

I started with a tea tree oil castile soap, as it is very gentle and has marvelous antifungal properties. This was followed by a high quality conditioner and a thorough rinsing.

Now for those of you in the know, washing the dog isn’t the hardest part. Drying the dog is. Several towels were employed, followed by a blow drying. Once it felt pretty dry, I brushed her out, then followed up with the vacuum. Yes, the vacuum. It gets rid of the lingering dampness better than anything else.

I also took the time to clean the couch and change the bedsheets. Once it was all over, Grace hopped back up into bed with me. Her soft and luxurious fur smelled amazing, and she slept more comfortably than she had in weeks.

Of course she’s still shedding. She does it twice a year. Six months in the spring, and six months in the fall. It’s the price you pay for having a big cuddly best friend. Unconditional love takes work.

And now if you’ll excuse me. I have a labrador who is in need of some snuggles.


To Glenn and George: Thank you for contributing the jokes. Flush Twice relies on people like you to send in the jokes. If you’ve been reading our jokes for a while, why not donate one today? You don’t have to sign up or agree to anything. Just head over to our submission page and type one in. You can also forward your forwards to I’d love to be the recipient of your friends’ friends’ friends’ jokes.

You’re going to do great things. You’re the solution to the problem they didn’t even know they had. Your smile brings joy. May peace and happiness follow you wherever you go, for all who know you call you friend.



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