Sunday, August 2, 2020

Happy First Birthday Gail!

August 4 was Gail’s birthday. She’s come a long way since she was a little puppy, and she still has a long way to go.

Can I be frank though? I got Gail to help me cope with the loss of my beloved Grace who passed away nearly a year ago. Unfortunately this did not pan out like I’d hoped. Gail is a beautiful Labrador, but when you see her in person, it’s apparent she lacks the lovability that Grace had.

She has no impulse control. When you try to pet her she wants to chew on you, or jump on you, or claw/kick you. Not in a mean way, but in an overexcited loss of control way. She also swings her head around like it was a mace on a battle field.

She barks a lot. A LOT. She growls and barks at dogs and cats on the TV. She also howls like a %^&*ing beagle. This can happen out of the blue for no reason, and it’s beyond infuriating. It’s 3AM, not a creature in the whole neighborhood is stirring, and suddenly this dog starts howling and barking. Oh, the neighbors are not amused.

She’s a digger! Yeah, all dogs will dig, but this is done out of spite. It’s a shame I don’t have the mineral rights to my lot. If I let her out, and don’t supervise her the whole time, she will start excavating.

I could go on, but suffice to say, living with Gail has been a rather unpleasant and thus far unrewarding challenge. If I had known then what she would be like at one year, I would not have gotten this dog.

If there’s anything good to say, she seems like she’s genuinely happy here. She likes the food, the treats, the car rides, the walks, the games of fetch, and torturing the cat. Sometimes she even seems to like me.

Happy Birthday, Gail.



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