A little boy with diarrhea unexpectedly said, “Mommy can I have some Viagra?”

“Why on Earth do you need that?” replied the startled mother.

The little boy explained, “Isn’t that what you give Daddy when his shit doesn’t get hard?”

A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy.

The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office. “Things aren’t going too well, guys,” he announced grimly. “So to perk up sales, I’m announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales this week gets a blowjob.”

“What does the loser get?” asked one of the salesmen.

The owner looked at both men and replied, “The loser gets to give it.”

A woman made an appointment with her gynecologist.

“What seems to be the problem?” asked the doctor.

“Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.”

The doctor had a look and began to chuckle. “Those aren’t postage stamps,” said the doc. “They’re the stickers off bananas!”

One evening a wife drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door.

“Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?” she asked.

“I would love to,” replied the husband, “but I don’t know her well enough.”