A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and
finally she agrees to go out with him.
He takes her to a nice restaurant, buys her a fancy dinner with
expensive wine and on the way home he pulls over to the side of
the road in a secluded spot.
They start necking and he’s getting pretty excited. He starts to
reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she’s a virgin
and wants to stay that way.
“Well, OK,” he says, “how a bout a blow job?”
“EEEEyyyyyyeeeew!” she screams. “I’m not putting that thing in
my mouth!”
He says, “Well then, how about a hand job?”
“I’ve never done that,” she says. “What do I have to do?”
“Well,” he answers, “remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?”
She nods.
“Well, it’s just like that.”
So he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking
it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest,
his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows
out of his ears and he screams out in pain.
“What’s wrong?!” she cries out.
“TAKE YOUR THUMB OFF OF THE END!!!”
The Golden Soapbox
Gail’s Pic of the Week
Sunday, February 21, 2021
Arrrrgh!
So my car is in the shop. Yes, that one. It's a long story too. Suffice to say there is a problem with the climate control, and I'm finding out the biggest downside to owning an EV: Getting it fixed when things go wrong.
So far I have already been ripped off by one dealership. They told me they could work on my LEAF, but things did not go well there. After I got hosed for $140 and nothing done to fix the problem, I found out from the two other area dealerships that the one I went to does not actually have any technicians certified to work on the LEAF. It would appear they scammed me.
One of the dealerships told me up front they do not have a LEAF tech, but the last one boasted that they are the only ones to have qualified technicians in this area. I wish I had known that beforehand.
So for now, I'm driving my old gas guzzling GMC. Hopefully the dealership will find the problem and be able to fix it soon.
Kudos
Thanks to the wonderful person who has been using our submission page. You are the only reason this site is still doing the daily updates.
Pax,
-f2xGET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail flush2x@gmail.com. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
So what makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
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