“Cord” Cutting

Martin needed to cut down several trees on his property. He went to a chainsaw shop and asked about various chainsaws.

The dealer told him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but save yourself the time and aggravation and get our top-of-the-line chainsaw. It can cut a hundred cords of wood a day.”

So Martin took the chainsaw home and began working on the trees. After cutting for several hours, he decided to quit, having only cut two cords of wood. The next morning he got up at 4 AM and cut until nightfall, but only managed to cut five cords.

Convinced it was a bad saw, Martin went back to the dealer who sold it to him.

The dealer removed the chainsaw from its case and examined the unit. “It looks fine,” he remarked, and then proceeded to start the chainsaw.

Martin clapped his hands over his ears and shouted, “What the hell is that noise?”

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