Category Archives: Sunday’s Rant

I’m Still Kickin’

I am still on the fence with my new job. Sometimes I think it will work out, but then things go badly, and I end up wishing I had stuck to my original plan of working as an Amazon delivery driver. It really is starting to feel like I am trapped in an abusive relationship.

Only I am not trapped. If this keeps up much longer, I will bail and go with my original plan A. The money is good at my new job, but it ain’t that good. Amazon drivers work ten hour days four days a week. Three days off every week? YES PLEASE!

Overtime is available too, so that’s also nice.

Kudos

Thanks again for leaving us jokes on the submission page. Eventually things will have to get back to normal… whatever normal is anymore.

Pax,

-f2x

Dogs and Cars

When I first brought Gail home from the farm, she threw up on me. For the next several months Gail would just about always get car sick within a mile or two. She was even unsure of how to get into the car, and I had to help her into the vehicle up until a few months ago.

The good news is that Gail is now an old pro at getting into the car. She can even hop up into the Envoy without any trouble. Keep in mind that Gail is only 1 year and 10 months old at this time. I’d say she is doing pretty good for a gal her age.

Practically all dogs love to go for car rides. They love sticking their head out the window, and they love the sights and smells. Even if you are merely going to the store, the dog loves it when you let them tag along for the ride.

Of course some people don’t like it when you take your dog out for a ride. They like to point out that the temperature in a car can soar to over 104°F in under 10 minutes even on mildly warm days. And yes, people who leave dogs in hot cars for an extended time should be held accountable, but it’s the 21st century you fucking overzealous busybodies.

Whether it is my Leaf or my Envoy, I can leave the AC running while I run into the store. It could be over 90°F outside, and the dog is doing just fine. In fact, my vehicle’s AC is probably cooler than my house. I’m cheap, and I keep my home thermostat on 80°F in the summer, meanwhile the car is blowing out an icy blast that can give my cheeks frostbite.

So before you get all judgmental because you see a dog left in a car, take a moment to notice if maybe, just maybe the the car is humming, and that maybe the AC is on, and the dog is fine. Take a moment to check for that before you get all sanctimonious in the parking lot, you attention seeking narcissistic bag of shit.

Cheers!

Kudos

Once again, thanks to Big D. I really appreciate that you’re keeping the jokes queued up for me on the submission page.

Pax,

-f2x

Any Better Yet?

You know how people are usually warned against associating with other people who have a lot of baggage? Well, it turns out there is a lot of baggage where I am working, and some of the relationships around there are kind of weird. I have never claimed to be at the pinnacle of mental health, but the more I get to know these people, the more dysfunctional they become.

Don’t get me wrong… I like weird, but this is more like a factory full of a bipolar paranoid schizophrenics with Tourrette’s. Not quite the quirky fun I aspire to.

While I am still struggling to keep my head above water in this place. There are times when things click, and I think, “Yeah, this is going to work out just fine,” only for something stupid to happen two minutes later, and I am back to thumbing through the listings on Indeed again.

I want this to work out. The pay is good, the actual machinery I work on is cool, but my feet are killing me and the people are crazy, and it’s not the fun quirky kind.

Kudos

Once again, thanks to Big D and TOR. Thanks for keeping the queue filled up by usingthe submission page.

Pax,

-f2x

Gonna Try to Keep This Going

So the comic is on hiatus again. That’s temporary, but unavoidable. I’ve decided to maintain this space, and therefore move Gail’s pic ahead of the comic in the layout.

Things are still shit, but I’m managing.

Kudos

Of course none of this would be happening if Big D and TOR weren’t putting jokes into the queue by using the submission page. Thanks so much! It really means a lot right now.

—Jus’ hangin’ by a thread.

Pax,

-f2x

It’s a Long Way Off From Sunday

So the new job is not going well, and there really is not much else I can say about it. I have been putting in applications with other employers, but so far no new offers. Until the situation improves I simply cannot devote any time to Flush Twice. I am dealing with too much as it is.

Thank you for understanding.

Pax,

-f2x

The Pizza Pause

So back when this “Covid” thing started up, certain grocery items disappeared from the store shelves and stayed away longer than I expected. Without going into to much detail, I stopped making my “world famous” pizza, and even when those ingredients were made readily available, I just didn’t feel in the mood.

Well baby, I’m back in the mood again.

Interestingly enough, I’m using the oven from the new range that I bought last summer. I had only used it a couple of times prior, so I’m still working out that “new oven smell”. (And yes, I followed the manufacturers instructions when I got it, and ran it for however many hours on high to burn off the machining oil. I don’t bake in the full size oven all that much, so it still lingers, OK?)

Anyway, the first couple of pies were “pretty good”, but this last pie was almost what I have come to expect from my traditional hand tossed. Quick joke: Pizza is like sex: When it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s bad, it’s still “pretty good”.

So as some of you might recall from ancient history, I used to deliver for Dominoes and got a fair bit of training in the art of pie making. While I never actually worked that position, I was good enough to take the helm in a pinch. Over the years I learned how to make my own pizza dough from scratch, and as you can plainly see, I can still make a decent looking pie.

So achievement re-unlocked! While good pepperoni is still too damn expensive at the moment, a cheese pizza can be a treat as well. Once you know how to make it, it really isn’t that much work, but it still is a thing of beauty when it comes out of the oven.

Kudos

Sorry I was late getting the this week’s content up. Been real busy. Thanks for all the contributions to the
submission page. It has really helped out.

Pax,

-f2x

The “Other” Child

While I have been giving Gail plenty of attention over the past year and a half, I have not given much if any attention to Alex in this space. Born somewhere around July 15, 2009, Alex is soon to be 12 years old. I got him off Craigslist after my previous cat passed away. The people who were giving him away said that he had been abandoned on their porch. Alex immediately took to his new forever home and soon after learned to come when I called his name.

For almost a decade, Alex has suffered from a kind of bulimia. Whenever I bring it up, the vet repeatedly defaults to the notion that it is hairballs, but hairball remedies do not improve the condition. No, it is more akin to what they call “scarf and barf”. He eats, he barfs, he eats again, he is fine… mostly. I have tried many techniques for dealing with this, but nothing has ever proven to be long term effective.

Recently I have found pureeing his canned cat food in an old mini food processor has halted his bulimic patterns. I fear it might not be enough though. Alex has been very thin and tired looking, with a permanently furrowed brow. There is no nice way to say it. I’m getting that EOL vibe.

Please, God, just let me wrong about this for a change. Alex is a good cat, and honestly I don’t think I’ll be able to get another cat until after Gail is gone. The thing is, I’ve always had a cat around, and I don’t like the idea of not having one. The house would feel too empty.

So let us hope the pureed food turns things around for Alex. Even if he looks like a grumpy old man, I hope he can live another decade or more. In some ways, I even hope he outlives Gail.

Kudos

Did I mention our submission page? It’s still a thing around here, and I count on people like you to put jokes into it. Thanks ever so much. It really means a lot to me.

Pax,

-f2x

It Feels the Same All Around

As I settle into my new job, I’m meeting many a new and interesting people, but they don’t exactly feel new to me. One thing that I have noticed as I have aged, is the phenomenon where faces are starting to rhyme. I have met enough people in my life that when I meet someone new, I know someone else who looks and acts fairly similar.

Sometimes it is a person I knew years ago that would be much older now, but I’m meeting them as a young person again. Then there are the “mix’n’match” They have features that come from a few different people in my past with a personality that I’ve already come to know. In any event, I feel like I know a lot of these people even though I have never actually met any of them before.

Now I am not dumb enough to ever tell a person they remind me of someone else. Here is a pro tip: If you ever hear yourself utter the phrase, “You remind me of…” you done fucked up. It always comes across as creepy and insulting, so stop yourself before it happens.

This effect is actually a blessing when I am around new people. That familiarity allows me to feel more comfortable, and when I am comfortable, that feeling carries over to the people around me and they feel more comfortable as well.

Ah yes… I think we are going to get along quite nicely.

Kudos

As always, thanks for contributing jokes through the Flush Twice submission page. I’m still posting comics and these “Rants” around the weekend, but don’t hold your breath if I’m a day or two late.

Pax,

-f2x

Farewell to Thee, AT&T

So if you go back a couple years ago, I finally was able to get fiber optic internet installed through AT&T. You might also recall about a year ago I did a comic depicting AT&T as a demonic monster when they tried to double bill me for a month. This year I was a little more prepared… or so I thought.

So I was watching the dates very carefully, and there were a number of options available for me to choose from for when my current “deal” ran out. All I wanted was to keep my internet cost at $50.00 or less, and it looked like there was even a $40/month option. I was feeling pretty good. I was on top of things, and I wasn’t going to let them upset me like they did last year.

And then it happened.

At the beginning of April, all the other options just vanished. No other plans were available. There was only the 1 Gigabit plan that I was currently on, and that was increasing to $70/month in May. I frantically kept clicking on different things, but to no avail. Their website was making it abundantly clear that I no longer had any other options.

So I called them. I chatted with the nice man, who transferred me to the nice woman, and they did offer to drop the price down to $60/month, but I politely wasn’t having any of it. My landline internet is scheduled to be terminated around the beginning of May.

The good news is, I had finally found my LB1120. (I lost track of it over a year ago.) It was a good thing I found it too, since it looks like they are getting scarce.

As fate would have it, I recently acquired a new cell phone for use in the event that I took the delivery job with Amazon. I had also signed up with a new MVNO called “Tello”. I popped their SIM card in the LB1120 and turned it on. After a few minutes the lights turned green and I was able to go in and adjust the settings. Next thing you know, I had internet access.

Previously I was using Mint Mobile, but Tello has an “unlimited” 25 Gigabyte plan for $40/month. Now I know that most of you would scoff at the notion that anyone could get by on a mere 25GB per month, but let me assure it can be done.

Now using Tello in this way is kind of against their TOS, so once they catch on, I will probably have to switch back to Mint Mobile. Fortunately Mint’s $25/month plan now affords 15 Gigabytes per month. Two of those will give me 30GB/month for $50. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that I have to keep swapping the SIM cards out twice a month, I could happily live with that service and never bat an eye.

Still, I only need to use this setup just long enough for AT&T to come to their senses and offer me their services at a REASONABLE rate… That being $50 or less per month. Ma Bell, why do you have to play such games?

And no, I still haven’t forgiven Spectrum, and I would not consider them even if they were the ONLY option. They continue to send me junk mail several times a week trying to get me to sign up for their TV and internet package. Seriously, I think they spend more money on junk mail than they do on maintaining their network.

But seriously, I believe that high speed internet at home should not cost more that $30 per month. Full stop. These internet companies are screwing people, and I think it is disgusting. I could see $40 a month, and I’ll even tolerate $50/month, but beyond that is just criminal.

Kudos

The submission page remains open. Thanks as always to our contributors. See you next week!

Pax,

-f2x

My Beef with the Leaf

So you’ve heard me rave about how much I love my Nissan Leaf, but it’s time for a little rant. Here are some gripes I have with the Leaf, and why I plan to trade this one in as soon as it is paid off.

First of all, the Leaf has THE worst battery management of ANY electric car currently sold on the U.S. market.

This is the biggest one. and results in Leaf batteries suffering battery degradation much, much higher than other EV’s on the market. All it would have taken is for Nissan to have incorporated some kind of battery cooling. As it stands, when the Leaf battery heats up, the battery’s capacity starts to die.

CHAdeMO is a dead end!

Essentially, there are three fast charging standards. Tesla, CCS, and CHAdeMO. Tesla is doing their own thing, CCS is what almost everyone else uses, and CHAdeMO is the Betamax of the charging world. While one could prossibly write an entire paragraph praising the benefits of the CHAdeMo standard, virtually no one else is using it. Even Nissan’s new SUV is equipped with CCS. Combine that with the fact that CHAdeMO chargers are almost non-existent in the Midwest, and it’s easy to see that the CHAdeMO port is almost as useful as tits on a bull.

No “Hilltop Reserve” anymore.

It’s bad enough that the battery is going to degrade faster than any other, but unless you pull out early, it will always charge to 100%. Older Leafs used to be able to automatically stop at 80%, and this would go a long way towards extending the longevity of the vehicle’s battery. Sadly, Nissan decided they wanted to make damn sure their batteries went South as quickly as possible. Since few people will hover over their car as it charges in order to “pull out” at the right moment, most owners simply acquiesce to fully charge their cars. Great for tomorrow morning’s range, but devastating to next year’s range.

Sorry, there are no aftermarket upgrades.

Of course here is where I should have done a little better research, and this applies to EVERY electric vehicle out there. Unless something goes catastrophically wrong while the car is still under warranty, the battery that comes with the vehicle will stay with the vehicle for the life of the vehicle. Yes, battery swaps exist, but few people will ever have the wherewithal for upgrades and battery swaps. You get what you get.

With a firm understanding of that latest revelation, here is my revised advice for determining the necessary range of any EV you are considering: Think about how far your longest typical drive would be. By typical, I’m referring to the longest drive you actually make on an occasional basis, not a hypothetical what-if scenario. Now double that number. If the number is not greater than 250, do not buy an EV with less range than that. If the number is greater than 250, don’t buy anything less than a 250 mile range.

So you don’t like your Leaf anymore?

No, I am not saying I don’t like my Leaf. I love this car. When my Plymouth Breeze was on its last legs, I knew I wanted to replace it with an EV, and a used Leaf is simply the most affordable EV with the most bang for your buck. But after a few months I’ve realized that while there are many wonderful benefits I adore, there are also a few drawbacks I abhor, and they should be considered before making this kind of major financial decision.

Kudos

Thanks T.O.R. and Darin. The submission page is at your disposal. I’ll keep moving them over to the queue as I find time.

Pax,

-f2x

Addendum

You know, I finally realized the header images for this site were woefully dated. Maybe one of you could give me a heads up some time? And let me know if the new look isn’t working.