Gonna Try to Keep This Going
So the comic is on hiatus again. That’s temporary, but unavoidable. I’ve decided to maintain this space, and therefore move Gail’s pic ahead of the comic in the layout.
Things are still shit, but I’m managing.
Kudos
Of course none of this would be happening if Big D and TOR weren’t putting jokes into the queue by using the submission page. Thanks so much! It really means a lot right now.
—Jus’ hangin’ by a thread.
Pax,
-f2x
It’s a Long Way Off From Sunday
So the new job is not going well, and there really is not much else I can say about it. I have been putting in applications with other employers, but so far no new offers. Until the situation improves I simply cannot devote any time to Flush Twice. I am dealing with too much as it is.
Thank you for understanding.
Pax,
-f2x
The Pizza Pause
So back when this “Covid” thing started up, certain grocery items disappeared from the store shelves and stayed away longer than I expected. Without going into to much detail, I stopped making my “world famous” pizza, and even when those ingredients were made readily available, I just didn’t feel in the mood.
Well baby, I’m back in the mood again.
Interestingly enough, I’m using the oven from the new range that I bought last summer. I had only used it a couple of times prior, so I’m still working out that “new oven smell”. (And yes, I followed the manufacturers instructions when I got it, and ran it for however many hours on high to burn off the machining oil. I don’t bake in the full size oven all that much, so it still lingers, OK?)
Anyway, the first couple of pies were “pretty good”, but this last pie was almost what I have come to expect from my traditional hand tossed. Quick joke: Pizza is like sex: When it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s bad, it’s still “pretty good”.
So as some of you might recall from ancient history, I used to deliver for Dominoes and got a fair bit of training in the art of pie making. While I never actually worked that position, I was good enough to take the helm in a pinch. Over the years I learned how to make my own pizza dough from scratch, and as you can plainly see, I can still make a decent looking pie.
So achievement re-unlocked! While good pepperoni is still too damn expensive at the moment, a cheese pizza can be a treat as well. Once you know how to make it, it really isn’t that much work, but it still is a thing of beauty when it comes out of the oven.
Kudos
Sorry I was late getting the this week’s content up. Been real busy. Thanks for all the contributions to the
submission page. It has really helped out.
Pax,
-f2x
The “Other” Child
While I have been giving Gail plenty of attention over the past year and a half, I have not given much if any attention to Alex in this space. Born somewhere around July 15, 2009, Alex is soon to be 12 years old. I got him off Craigslist after my previous cat passed away. The people who were giving him away said that he had been abandoned on their porch. Alex immediately took to his new forever home and soon after learned to come when I called his name.
For almost a decade, Alex has suffered from a kind of bulimia. Whenever I bring it up, the vet repeatedly defaults to the notion that it is hairballs, but hairball remedies do not improve the condition. No, it is more akin to what they call “scarf and barf”. He eats, he barfs, he eats again, he is fine… mostly. I have tried many techniques for dealing with this, but nothing has ever proven to be long term effective.
Recently I have found pureeing his canned cat food in an old mini food processor has halted his bulimic patterns. I fear it might not be enough though. Alex has been very thin and tired looking, with a permanently furrowed brow. There is no nice way to say it. I’m getting that EOL vibe.
Please, God, just let me wrong about this for a change. Alex is a good cat, and honestly I don’t think I’ll be able to get another cat until after Gail is gone. The thing is, I’ve always had a cat around, and I don’t like the idea of not having one. The house would feel too empty.
So let us hope the pureed food turns things around for Alex. Even if he looks like a grumpy old man, I hope he can live another decade or more. In some ways, I even hope he outlives Gail.
Kudos
Did I mention our submission page? It’s still a thing around here, and I count on people like you to put jokes into it. Thanks ever so much. It really means a lot to me.
Pax,
-f2x
It Feels the Same All Around
As I settle into my new job, I’m meeting many a new and interesting people, but they don’t exactly feel new to me. One thing that I have noticed as I have aged, is the phenomenon where faces are starting to rhyme. I have met enough people in my life that when I meet someone new, I know someone else who looks and acts fairly similar.
Sometimes it is a person I knew years ago that would be much older now, but I’m meeting them as a young person again. Then there are the “mix’n’match” They have features that come from a few different people in my past with a personality that I’ve already come to know. In any event, I feel like I know a lot of these people even though I have never actually met any of them before.
Now I am not dumb enough to ever tell a person they remind me of someone else. Here is a pro tip: If you ever hear yourself utter the phrase, “You remind me of…” you done fucked up. It always comes across as creepy and insulting, so stop yourself before it happens.
This effect is actually a blessing when I am around new people. That familiarity allows me to feel more comfortable, and when I am comfortable, that feeling carries over to the people around me and they feel more comfortable as well.
Ah yes… I think we are going to get along quite nicely.
Kudos
As always, thanks for contributing jokes through the Flush Twice submission page. I’m still posting comics and these “Rants” around the weekend, but don’t hold your breath if I’m a day or two late.
Pax,
-f2x
Farewell to Thee, AT&T
So if you go back a couple years ago, I finally was able to get fiber optic internet installed through AT&T. You might also recall about a year ago I did a comic depicting AT&T as a demonic monster when they tried to double bill me for a month. This year I was a little more prepared… or so I thought.
So I was watching the dates very carefully, and there were a number of options available for me to choose from for when my current “deal” ran out. All I wanted was to keep my internet cost at $50.00 or less, and it looked like there was even a $40/month option. I was feeling pretty good. I was on top of things, and I wasn’t going to let them upset me like they did last year.
And then it happened.
At the beginning of April, all the other options just vanished. No other plans were available. There was only the 1 Gigabit plan that I was currently on, and that was increasing to $70/month in May. I frantically kept clicking on different things, but to no avail. Their website was making it abundantly clear that I no longer had any other options.
So I called them. I chatted with the nice man, who transferred me to the nice woman, and they did offer to drop the price down to $60/month, but I politely wasn’t having any of it. My landline internet is scheduled to be terminated around the beginning of May.
The good news is, I had finally found my LB1120. (I lost track of it over a year ago.) It was a good thing I found it too, since it looks like they are getting scarce.
As fate would have it, I recently acquired a new cell phone for use in the event that I took the delivery job with Amazon. I had also signed up with a new MVNO called “Tello”. I popped their SIM card in the LB1120 and turned it on. After a few minutes the lights turned green and I was able to go in and adjust the settings. Next thing you know, I had internet access.
Previously I was using Mint Mobile, but Tello has an “unlimited” 25 Gigabyte plan for $40/month. Now I know that most of you would scoff at the notion that anyone could get by on a mere 25GB per month, but let me assure it can be done.
Now using Tello in this way is kind of against their TOS, so once they catch on, I will probably have to switch back to Mint Mobile. Fortunately Mint’s $25/month plan now affords 15 Gigabytes per month. Two of those will give me 30GB/month for $50. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that I have to keep swapping the SIM cards out twice a month, I could happily live with that service and never bat an eye.
Still, I only need to use this setup just long enough for AT&T to come to their senses and offer me their services at a REASONABLE rate… That being $50 or less per month. Ma Bell, why do you have to play such games?
And no, I still haven’t forgiven Spectrum, and I would not consider them even if they were the ONLY option. They continue to send me junk mail several times a week trying to get me to sign up for their TV and internet package. Seriously, I think they spend more money on junk mail than they do on maintaining their network.
But seriously, I believe that high speed internet at home should not cost more that $30 per month. Full stop. These internet companies are screwing people, and I think it is disgusting. I could see $40 a month, and I’ll even tolerate $50/month, but beyond that is just criminal.
Kudos
The submission page remains open. Thanks as always to our contributors. See you next week!
Pax,
-f2x
My Beef with the Leaf
So you’ve heard me rave about how much I love my Nissan Leaf, but it’s time for a little rant. Here are some gripes I have with the Leaf, and why I plan to trade this one in as soon as it is paid off.
First of all, the Leaf has THE worst battery management of ANY electric car currently sold on the U.S. market.
This is the biggest one. and results in Leaf batteries suffering battery degradation much, much higher than other EV’s on the market. All it would have taken is for Nissan to have incorporated some kind of battery cooling. As it stands, when the Leaf battery heats up, the battery’s capacity starts to die.
CHAdeMO is a dead end!
Essentially, there are three fast charging standards. Tesla, CCS, and CHAdeMO. Tesla is doing their own thing, CCS is what almost everyone else uses, and CHAdeMO is the Betamax of the charging world. While one could prossibly write an entire paragraph praising the benefits of the CHAdeMo standard, virtually no one else is using it. Even Nissan’s new SUV is equipped with CCS. Combine that with the fact that CHAdeMO chargers are almost non-existent in the Midwest, and it’s easy to see that the CHAdeMO port is almost as useful as tits on a bull.
No “Hilltop Reserve” anymore.
It’s bad enough that the battery is going to degrade faster than any other, but unless you pull out early, it will always charge to 100%. Older Leafs used to be able to automatically stop at 80%, and this would go a long way towards extending the longevity of the vehicle’s battery. Sadly, Nissan decided they wanted to make damn sure their batteries went South as quickly as possible. Since few people will hover over their car as it charges in order to “pull out” at the right moment, most owners simply acquiesce to fully charge their cars. Great for tomorrow morning’s range, but devastating to next year’s range.
Sorry, there are no aftermarket upgrades.
Of course here is where I should have done a little better research, and this applies to EVERY electric vehicle out there. Unless something goes catastrophically wrong while the car is still under warranty, the battery that comes with the vehicle will stay with the vehicle for the life of the vehicle. Yes, battery swaps exist, but few people will ever have the wherewithal for upgrades and battery swaps. You get what you get.
With a firm understanding of that latest revelation, here is my revised advice for determining the necessary range of any EV you are considering: Think about how far your longest typical drive would be. By typical, I’m referring to the longest drive you actually make on an occasional basis, not a hypothetical what-if scenario. Now double that number. If the number is not greater than 250, do not buy an EV with less range than that. If the number is greater than 250, don’t buy anything less than a 250 mile range.
So you don’t like your Leaf anymore?
No, I am not saying I don’t like my Leaf. I love this car. When my Plymouth Breeze was on its last legs, I knew I wanted to replace it with an EV, and a used Leaf is simply the most affordable EV with the most bang for your buck. But after a few months I’ve realized that while there are many wonderful benefits I adore, there are also a few drawbacks I abhor, and they should be considered before making this kind of major financial decision.
Kudos
Thanks T.O.R. and Darin. The submission page is at your disposal. I’ll keep moving them over to the queue as I find time.
Pax,
-f2x
Addendum
You know, I finally realized the header images for this site were woefully dated. Maybe one of you could give me a heads up some time? And let me know if the new look isn’t working.
The State of Flush Twice Address
It has actually been a while since I have done an introspective write up, so this week’s rant will touch on where things stand. There aren’t any bombshells here, but rather the mundane assessment of the journey so far.
Flush Twice is coming up on its 18th anniversary in a couple of weeks. We are older than Facebook, and I think that alone is something of an achievement. I have also been publishing my own comic here for the last 17 years as well, and throughout that time, the art style has undergone several drastic permutations. I think this is the longest running web comic that has had absolutely zero notability on the internet.
So much has changed since it all began. It started with me building my own web pages using some WYSIWYG abandon-ware on a server in my basement. Today the site is running on a low cost hosting platform with WordPress. From time to time the look has changed, and there have been many, MANY hiatuses, but I have managed to keep things running and have no plans to retire the site anytime soon.
Some things haven’t changed. The jokes are still the same jokes. I have come to accept that there are only so many jokes out there, and then it moves into the realm of variations on a theme and retellings. Every once in a while a new one comes up, but I have not actually heard a new joke in quite a long time, however I still enjoy the old ones.
I am still using Paint Shop Pro 4.14 for all of my comics and graphic designs. PSP 4 was a “shareware” bitmap editor from the 1990’s that due to some oversight could be upgraded to the full version (4.14) with their free upgrade patches. For what it is, it still has a great interface and some highly effective tools. It does have some bugs and limitations that make it a bit dated, but every time I try to use the new stuff, I get frustrated with the rather cumbersome and un-intuitive layouts. I suppose if I were not so set-in-my-ways, I would not have such difficulties, but it is what it is.
It looks like my original partner in crime has finally returned to lurk and contribute jokes. While the former co-sysop from my ancient BBS days isn’t being too conversational, it is good to know he is still alive and well. Thanks for having my back Big D. I missed you old friend.
Sadly, viewership is at an all-time low. Over the past month, fewer than 20 people per day have visited the site. Some days the visitor count has been in the single digits. That is probably due in large part to the lack of effort I have been putting into curating the jokes. Nevertheless, Flush Twice is still chugging along.
I have been periodically moving the submitted jokes into the scheduled queue. I have about a month’s worth of jokes in the queue and almost 2 months of jokes left to schedule. Thanks for your contributions, and please keep ’em coming!
In Conclusion
As usual, our submission page remains up and running for your convenience. I really appreciate all the contributions I have gotten, and look forward to seeing even more.
See you next week!
Pax,
-f2x
It’s a Strange Calm
The family gathering was a bit smaller than usual this year. Not because of Covid, but because they could not make it for other personal reasons. It also felt like something was off, more tense, quiet, and perfunctory. The food was excellent, and the weather was beyond perfect, but still something was off.
It will be a couple months before I see them all again. Perhaps by then things will start to seem more normal… whatever normal may be.
Kudos
Thanks for stopping by. I shouldn’t have to tell you that our submission page is available, but feel free to drop off a couple of jokes.
Pax,
-f2x
Things I Wish I Knew Before I Bought My Leaf
So this is by no means a complete list because there are still some things out there I do not know, and things I do not know that I do not know. That being said, I am still thrilled with my Nissan Leaf, but I really wish I had better understood when I bought it.
Battery State of Health is really important, but 30KWh battery packs have an 8 year warranty.
I passed up a really cheap Leaf with a severely degraded battery. It was a 2017 and would have qualified for the free replacement, and since Nissan no longer makes the 30KWh pack, I would have gotten a free 40KWh battery instead.
The Capacity of the Battery in KWh (Kilowatt hours) is King!
Your range is going to be determined by how many Kilowatt hours the battery can hold. You need to know what the car originally came with, and how many Kilowatt hours of storage are left. Sometimes (like on my Leaf) you have to use a Bluetooth OBDII reader and a mobile app and some math to figure it out. Make the effort and DO THIS.
Your Driving Habits and Conditions are Queen!
I actually kind of knew this, but I had no idea just how drastic the range difference can be. Driving down the interstate at 70MPH with the heat on is going to use up the battery more than 3 times faster compared to driving down a country road at 45MPH on a sunny day with the windows down.
Just Leave it in ECO Mode.
At first it was fun zipping in and around traffic, but I have since cooled my jets. Because these types of cars are so quiet and smooth, it can be very easy to turn into a jerk on the road. Put it in ECO mode and drive with the flow of traffic around you.
Pay More Attention to Your Miles per Kilowatt Hour
If you really want to get the most range out of your vehicle, don’t fret over the battery percentage level gauge and ignore the GOM. Watch that Mi/KWh bar. Make it into a game to see how high you can get that bar without driving like an idiot for the conditions you are in.
Unless it Qualifies for a Warranty Replacement, You Will Never Replace Your Battery.
There are a lot of YouTube videos showing electric cars getting replacement batteries and even upgrades. These are in the extreme minority and will never be mainstream. Make sure that the car you are getting has more than enough range for your current driving needs. Your battery capacity WILL degrade over time, and it is simply not practical to replace the battery once the range has dropped below the level that can meet your needs. Your best option will be to get a newer used car.
Certain Problems are Nigh Impossible to Fix
This is a bitter pill for me to swallow, but unless the cause of a problem is something blindingly obvious, do not expect any dealership to be able to figure it out and fix it. The heater in my car STILL has an intermittent problem, and of course it always works fine when I take it into the shop.
EV Haters Will Never Get It (So don’t bother trying.)
Some people will never be OK with EVs. There is no argument you can make that will change their minds. Gasoline could cost $10 per gallon and new battery electric vehicles could be half the price of an internal combustion engine, but they would still try to justify why they think electric cars are a bad idea. {smh} I should have told those guys it was a 3 cylinder that got really good gas mileage.
Kudos
Our submission page remains open for any and all contributors like my good buddy Darin. Thanks old friend!
Pax,
-f2x
Just a quick addendum, I’m still posting these side bars late Sunday / early Monday, so don’t let the post dates fool you.
