You know, I like to poke fun at Dewey’s cooking, but he’s a fictional character, and none of this is real. While I could never shit on someone like Brandon just did, it probably isn’t as denigrating as my typical impromptu stammered wince under these circumstances. Nothing hurts another’s feelings so much as when it’s obvious you don’t want to hurt their feelings and then fumble for words while showing a look of discomfort.
It’s part of my shitty superpowers collection. I can even piss people off by remaining nearly motionless and glancing at them with a look of disappointment. This is further enhanced by the fact that I have a god given resting bitch face. I can just be sitting there minding my own business and eventually someone will come up to me and ask, “Excuse me, is there a problem here?” For some reason, my bewildered confusion that naturally follows rarely deescalates the situation.