Attempts to Use Temps Part 1


Attempts to Use Temps (Part 1)

So this is a new series arc based on my personal experience working with a variety of people sent to my company from various temp agencies. I must admit, it was a rather ill conceived idea interesting experience.

So if you’re a little lost on the premise, people looking for work will sign up with temporary agencies. Many companies like to hire through temp agencies because it gives them the chance to “try it before you buy it” with the workers that are sent over. If the temp doesn’t work out, you just call the agency and tell them not to send that one back.

That’s the only upshot.

The downsides are many, but essentially you don’t know what kind of person you’re going to get. It’s literally like some rando off the street just walked in your door, and you have to figure out how to train them on the fly.

There’s some pretty insane rules too. Things like, you can’t just fire them no matter how awful they are. You have to call the temp agency, and then they call the temp to inform them they were dismissed. Sometimes the temp just keeps coming back because they refuse to answer their phone. It’s really awkward.

It gets better too. Most of the temps that I personally “Googled” had mugshots on the very first page of results. Within the first 20 minutes it becomes painfully apparent why the individual was unemployed. I’d venture to say I would feel safer petting a stray rottweiler with foaming saliva dripping from its mouth.

My employer eventually abandoned the whole idea of having me train temps by myself on 3rd shift, but the experience has left me with a trove of potentially comedic material. Yay!

Pax,

-f2x

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3 Responses to Attempts to Use Temps Part 1

  1. The oldest rater says:

    You’re edging awfully close to realtalk here. Made me smile.

    Scott Adams got his start by barely-fictionalizing crazy things that came past him at work. This is a promising vein to mine. You might want to consider posting this stuff to other social media, get some eyeballs.

    • f2x says:

      This strip was based on a real conversation, and is not fictionalized at all. Only the names and wording are changed so it could fit into the standard template. Keep in mind, this was the conversation I had with a 20-something woman on 3rd shift in a small manufacturing plant in Ohio. Needless to say, she didn’t stick around very long, but I’m still a little slack-jawed from the expectation of company provided daycare in the middle of the night.

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