Family Resemblance

A woman was walking along pushing her newborn baby in the carriage when an old friend approached her. The friend leaned over, peering into the carriage said, “What a beautiful baby boy, and he looks just like his father.”
“I know”, replied the woman, “I just wish he looked more like my husband!”

The Rabbi’s Catholicon

Rabbi Levy had to spend time in a Catholic hospital. He became friends with the Sister who was a nurse there. One day, she came into his room and noticed that the crucifix on the wall was missing. She asked him good-naturedly, “Rabbi, what have you done with the crucifix?”
“Oh, sister,” chuckled Rabbi Levy, “I just figured one suffering Jew in this room was enough.”

Tending the Pearly Gates

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants, arrive.
St. Peter looked out through the gates and said, “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
St. Peter goes over to God’s chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.
God says to Peter, “How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!”
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God’s chambers and says, “Well, they’re gone.”
“The guys wearing hoodies?” asked God.
“No. The Pearly Gates.”

(A special thanks goes out as this was a contributed joke.)