A housewife was cheating on her husband while he is at work, but she was not aware that her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
As if making casual small talk, the boy says, “Dark in here.”
“Yes it is,” replied the man
“I have a baseball,” said the boy
Trying to ignore the kid, he muttered, “That’s nice.”
“Want to buy it?”
Annoyed, the man said, “No, thanks.”
In an almost melodic tone, the boy mentioned, “My dad’s outside.”
Realizing his situation, the man relented, “OK, how much?”
Without a hint of compassion, the boy said, “$250.”
A few weeks later, it happens again. The boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
“Dark in here,” said the boy.
“Yes, it is,” said the man.
“I have a baseball glove. Want to buy it?”
Not learning from the last time he said, “No, thanks.”
In a menacing voice the boy said, “I’ll tell.”
“How much?” the man sighed.
“$750.”
The man winced, “Fine.”
It was a few days later the father said to the boy, “Grab your glove. We’ll go outside and toss that baseball!”
The boy blurted, “I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asked, “How much did you sell them for?”
The son says, “$1,000,” and shows his father the money.
The father shouted, “That’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that! That is way more than those two things are worth! I’m going to take you to church and you can tell the priest in confession!”
They go to church and the father alerted the priest and made the little boy sit in the confession booth before closing the door.
The boy said, “Dark in here.”
The priest said, “Don’t start that shit again.”
Comics
Gail’s Sunday Pic
Sunday, January 7, 2024
It's just so surreal...
Yesterday marked 10 years to the day of my mother's passing. Dad and I went out to dinner to pay homage in her memory. Like the decade before, I never would have dreamed we'd end up where we did.
I still maintain that somewhere along the way, I ended up in the "bad timeline". I'm not saying that things are all that bad, or that I regret my decisions. On the contrary, I'm where I am today in spite of my decisions. No matter what choices I could have made, this is where I was fated to be... and it's so unsatisfying.
On a lighter note
My comic is 20 years old this month! Think about it... 20 years ago I started putting pictures of stick figures up here in an attempt to dress up a rather boring hand coded html page. Seeing how it started and how it turned out is kind of neat. It has certainly gone through some dramatic changes from those original daily panels to my current sporadic offerings. I wish I could have combined the naive wit of my youth with my current "drawing" abilities. I've become far too jaded in my old age and it puts a damper on my creativity.
Of course looking back at some of my early work, I'm not so sure my "wit" was all that great either. The "art" was definitely bad... And now that I'm looking at it, the gags weren't really all that great either, but I was putting out a daily panel rather consistently for a while there.
Yeah, now that I think about it... those old comics sucked. As I'm glancing through them I feel myself cringing in disgust... Wow... Maybe I do have some regrets after all! Oh those wasted hours I spent navel gazing to come up with crap that makes Chis Chan look inspired! Thank god no one is actually reading this shit!
So to wrap it up...
Happy New Year, everybody! I'm really not sure how much stuff I'll add to Flush Twice in '24, but I'll get to it whenever I get the chance. Be sure to like and subscribe, and leave a comment down below if there's anything you'd like to see happen over the next 12 months.
Pax,
-f2xMarch 2024 S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 GET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
(Just thought you might like to know.)
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