The Old Flame
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called ‘out-of-the-blue’ to see if I was still around.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.
I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that “old magic”.
“Wow!” I was flabbergasted..
“I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now”, I said, “I’m a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don’t really have the energy I used to have.”
She just giggled and said she was sure I would “rise to the challenge”.
“Yeah.” I said. “Just so long as you don’t mind a waistline that’s a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone…everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!”
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, “I’ve put on a few pounds myself!”
So I told her to fuck off.
…And Young Love
A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He also immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window.
The young man lowers his window, “Yes, Officer?”
The trooper asks, “What are you doing?”
The young man says, “I’m reading a magazine, sir.”
Pointing toward the young woman in the back seat the trooper says, “What is she doing?”
The young man shrugs, “I think she’s just filing her fingernails, officer.”
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple alone in a car on a lover’s lane at night and nothing indecent is happening? “How old are you, young man?” Inquired the officer.
“I’m 22, sir,” he replied.
“And what’s her age?” the officer demanded.
The young man looks at his watch and replied, “She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes.”