The Bag Lady

A little old lady was walking down the street carrying two large plastic trash bags, one in each hand. One of the bags had a hole. Every once in a while, a $20 bill would come flying out of the bag and onto the pavement. A nearby police officer noticed this.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” the cop said. “Do you realize you have $20 bills falling out of one of your bags?”

The old lady looked back. “Damn!” she said. “Now I have to go back and see if I can find them. Thanks, officer!”

“Wait a minute,” the officer said. “Where did you get all this money? Did you steal it?”

“Oh, no. I earned it,” the lady replied.

“You earned all this money?” asked the cop.

“Yes,” the lady answered. “You see, officer, my back yard is right next to the parking lot of the football stadium. Every time there’s a game, those darn kids have too much to drink and then they pee through the hedges right onto my flowers! It was driving me crazy! So I finally did something about it. I got out my hedge clippers. Now, every time a guy sticks his thingy through the hedges, I jump up, grab it, hold open the clippers and say, ‘$20 or off it comes!’ ”

The cop laughed. “Very good, ma’am! Have a nice day!” he said. He then asked, “What’s in the other bag, by the way?”

The old lady leaned close to the police officer and said in a hushed voice, “Not everybody pays up!”

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