The Problem I Wish I Had
It feels like most of the internet is whining about how hard it is living under the “stay at home” orders. I must concede that much of the content currently being produced by creators following the self-isolation rules has suffered in quality. Since I tend to use the internet for entertainment purposes, that actually does have a negative impact on my daily life.
Here’s the thing: I go to work in a factory where I make things, and some of them are medical, and medical is essential, so the factory is up and running as usual, save for the ubiquitous face masks that are unpleasant to wear.
After work, I make my way back home, stopping along the way if I need groceries or whatnot. Sometimes I go through a drive thru for dinner, but most of the time I fix my own meals at home. Normally I would never actually go out to eat inside of a restaurant unless family or friends had planned a “thing”.
Once I’m home, I’m generally home for the night. I might do yard work, or I may even have to go out for some must-have that I didn’t pick up on my way home from work. On the rare occasion when I don’t feel like shit and the weather is nice, I might actually take the dog for a walk.
So for me, nothing has changed! Nothing save for the fact that I have to listen to everyone else endlessly whine about how their lives have been upturned by social distancing. Bitch, please! Your “social distancing” is my default setting. I actually kind of like it when people stay the fuck away from me.
The one thing I feel shortchanged on is the fact that I still have to go to work. I’d love to be laid off, sucking down unemployment, and getting paid an extra $600 a week to stay home! This is horseshit! I’m busting my ass working overtime for less money than I would if I had been laid off!
To make matters worse, if I do get sick, my employer won’t provide sick pay, I won’t be allowed to work, and I still won’t get unemployment. I’m just fucked all the way around.
So I wish I had your “cabin fever” problem right now. I’m still having to struggle every fucking day of my life while the rest of you hootenannies are carrying on like your humanity is being abused!
You can all go to fucking hell already!
So last week you might have noticed that more of the the jokes came from Glenn rather than George. That’s because George hasn’t actually been sending me jokes lately. He’s doing OK though. If the mood overcomes you, our submission page awaits your generous offerings. My e-mail (email@example.com) is also at your disposal.
“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” ― Aristotle