Sunday, May 13, 2018

I Want You to send in Your Jokes!

As we all know, terrorist organizations around the world kidnap and slaughter children 10 and under every day. But by submitting jokes to Flush Twice, you can help put an end to those evil doers. Thanks to submitters like you, we’ve managed to stop dozens of these fiends, but it’s not enough.

I’m sure I’ve tried this before with lackluster results, but this time it’s more elegantly implemented. Even if it doesn’t bring in all of the jokes necessary to keep those terrorist organizations from slaughtering thousands of innocent children, it doesn’t look like a badly designed kludge slapped on by the dimwitted hack who runs the place.

Seriously though, even if you normally don’t like to get involved in contributing to save the lives of defenseless children, it’s worth trying out the submission form to see if you can’t get me to greenlight your comedic talents.

After every 50 approved jokes, you may be eligible to receive a free T-shirt from Flush Twice. (Void where prohibited. Some restrictions apply.*) Unlike those other ripoff deals, I won’t even bother to clutter it up with some cheap and tacky logo and artwork that advertises this site. No, I’ll send you a genuine shirt of a random size and color picked up from a Goodwill store down the street from my house. It will even be sealed in a ziplock back to preserve that fresh Goodwill smell.

So let’s get crackin! I need to queue a few thousand jokes so I can take a much needed vacation.



* Yeah, this is pretty much just a hoax offer. I’m not actually gonna send you shit. Besides, in order for me to send you something, you have to tell me where you live… Do you really think that’s such a good idea? OK, I know I went a little dark with this rant, but I hope you got a laugh out it anyway. I’m done ranting now. Have a cool day.

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