Sunday, February 7, 2016

We’ve got five more jokes lined up for February 8th through the 12th. It’s almost like there’s a pattern to this site’s behavior.

If you’ve been following the sidebar saga (to which I doubt anyone has), you’d know that I’m usually pissing and moaning about the back-end of this site and how search engines and bots get under my skin. Think of it like this:

Imagine you had a machine that made soft cuddly teddy bears to give away to people who love soft cuddly teddy bears. It can make hundreds of varieties of teddy bears endlessly. Now imagine a hygienically impaired, fat, hairy, shirtless thug walked up to the machine and started pushing the teddy bear dispensing buttons. The machine makes the teddy bears and dispenses them. Now the smelly beast rips off the soft cuddly skin of the bear and pulls out the stuffing. He puts the stuffing into a bin to use in his disposable diaper making facility and keeps pressing the dispensing button on your machine day in and day out.

Now as each of your bears leave the machine, they get one chance to tell you what kind of loving home they went off to. And while a few of them leave you a message that they went to a fine home in Kansas, or Canada, or England, or France… The vast majority of them report they had their heads ripped off by some dirty bastard working for a shit factory.

So in this story, my jokes and comics are the teddy bears, and the bots and spiders are the fat, smelly bastards. My goal is to make it easy for the good and wonderful people like yourself to come get your free teddy bear, while keeping out the scumbags that just want the rip apart the bears for their raw materials.

Maybe I take it a little too personally, but this is my little corner of the web, and I think I have an obligation to ensure it’s used as it was intended.



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