Sunday, December 16, 2018

Foggy Metrics

I’m still disappointed with the stat program on the back end. I want to know how many people visit the site, and generally where they are from. It’s not for advertising or marketing purposes. It’s not for super secret squirrel stuff either. I’d just like to know how many people are visiting.

Unfortunately my old nemesis, the bots, are back at it again. WP Statistics implies that their plugin can detect bots. After getting suspicious about the so called “visitors”, I did a simple “whois” on the IP addresses and found that most of them are coming from hosting companies.

Visits from hosting companies does not necessarily indicate that it’s a bot. The user might be employing a proxy or VPN. I myself use a VPN from time to time, so perhaps others are using them as well… Except when checking IP address owners, nearly ALL of them are from hosting providers.

I seriously doubt that over 90% of you are using a VPN, therefore you may consider that visitor count in the sidebar to be complete and utter fiction. And honestly I don’t know how many of you are real people visiting this site. Other than the middle aged dork from Dayton, I’m not sure that any people ever see this site.

To further enhance my depressing undertones, I posted this week’s comic to reddit yesterday. Compared to last week’s, it was practically ignored. My best guess is around 7 people voted with 2 downvotes and 5 upvotes. That garnered me 3 imaginary internet points with a 60% approval rating. What a way to kick off the new story arc.

So why am I ranting about it? Because why not? It’s not like any people are coming to the site to read this. Besides, according to the section title, it’s suppose to be a rant.

OK, so after getting all that off my chest, I feel better. Of course the tequila is helping a little bit too. Tune in next week when I discuss the pros and cons of giving your loved ones shitty Christmas presents.

Kudos and Promos

Another shout out for George, who generously emailed me the jokes that we’re reading this week. If you would like to Submit jokes to Flush Twice, please try our submission page, or send an email to

FREE Flush Twice T-Shirts are still available. I will happily mail you a shirt! The instructions are in the e-mail link: Gimme my FREE T-Shirt! (Limit one T-Shirt per household, and I reserve the right to refuse your request if I suspect bad faith.)



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