Sunday, August 12, 2018

Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be.

It’s rough being an internet celebrity. I can hardly walk out to my car without hordes of fans clamoring for my autograph. Just the other day, PewDiePie was trying to follow me around for a taste of my fame, and I keep having to change my phone number because Fox and Friends won’t stop calling to get me to come on their show. You just don’t know how it feels.

Of course the truth is that I’m so anonymous that the only people who ever seem to notice me are the police cruisers looking to fill their quotas. Here lately they’ve been riding my bumper down the street when I’m on my way to work. I’m telling you, self-driving cars can’t get here fast enough. The sooner those pricks get put out of a job, the better.

In other news, I’m still breathing. That’s a plus. I think I really do enjoy that aspect of life. The other thing I like is the tomato on toast sandwiches I’ve been chowing down lately. For some reason my tomatoes keep getting smaller every week, but they still taste amazing.

For those who don’t know, Ohioans are required by law to grow tomato plants every summer. I’ve also taken to growing banana peppers as well. I love to pickle them and put them on my pizzas. I’ve always loved those jars of pickled banana peppers at the store, but these home gown ones really take it to the next level.

OK, so I just thought I toss out a few of these random thoughts for this week’s rant. I’ve got a ton of things to do, so until next time.



Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please do not use URL's. Comments with links will not post.
The "Name" field is optional. Feel free to post anonymously.