Story Time: The Coochie Wax

So first time ever I decide like a dumbass to wax my downstairs lady stash. I didn’t want the embarrassment of going to a place, so I got a kit off Amazon(yay prime).

So i’m all cool putting the hot ass wax on the lady lips trying to cool her down because she’s getting angry and I’m bent all weird one leg up on the counter hand drying that shit with like a maxi pad I found in the drawer.

I had my husband pull it because I attempted it and I was like yeah that shit can just stay there forever now.

The position ain’t working of standing, here I am hobbling my ass to the bed like a humpback witch because the wax is hard and I can’t move right.

Hop up on the bed spread wax eagle like my lady cave got a tar pit in it. So hes like one…two…three and rips that shit off like he was starting the goddamn lawnmower and I swear I blacked out and saw my life flash before my eyes.

While yelling so many obscenities, I’m sure my neighbors heard it and assumed he fucked me to death.

I told my husband fuck you, I hope you enjoyed that shit and enjoy these bald ass meat curtains because I ain’t ever doing that shit again

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