- I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap.
- You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.
- Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I’ve wanted to cut it down.
- You’re a person of rare intelligence. It’s rare when you show any.
- I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
- I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.
- You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about.
- You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
- Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.
- Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?
- I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
- I love what you’ve done with your hair. How did you get it to come out of one nostril like that?
- In the battle of wits you’re an unarmed man.
- Moonlight becomes you — total darkness even more.
Snappy Insults
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