The Height of Discussion

The teacher asked her Biology class, “Does anyone know why girls tend to grow taller than boys during childhood?”

Frankie raised his hand and replied, “That’s because a guy has balls and that weighs him down.”

The teacher was a bit annoyed but decided to humor the notion, “Then why at maturity do men tend to grow taller than women?”

Frankie cooly replied, “That’s because a girl gets breasts, and they’re heavier than a guy’s balls.”

Three Dinosaurs

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

“Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.”

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

“I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”

The Yard Sale

Morty found several denim pants at the yard sale. There were pants in sizes 30 and 32.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any pants in size 34 would you?” morty asked the home owner.

The man shook his head. “I’m still wearing the 34s. You’ll have to come back next year.”

The Shouting Doctor

Having recently graduated from nursing school, it was Anna’s first day working at a doctor’s private clinic.

Not long into her day, she heard a man yell, “Typhoid!”

A short while later she heard the man shout, “Penicillin!”

Anna asked another nurse who the man was, and the nurse blythely mentioned that he was the clinic’s doctor.

As the day went on she kept hearing the doctor loudly announcing various things like, “Tetanus!”, “Measles!”, “Influenza!”, “Polio!”, “Mumps!”

Finally Anna asked the other nurse, “Why does he keep doing that?”

The other nurse replied, “Oh, he just likes calling the shots around here.”

The New Pizza Delivery Boy

A new pizza delivery boy knocked on the door of his first customer’s home. After receiving the pizza, the customer asked, “So what’s the usual tip?”

“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my night on the job, but the other guys said if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”

“Is that so?” snorted the customer. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”

“Thanks,” replied the delivery boy, “I’ll put this in my school fund.”

“What are you studying in school?” asked the customer.

The lad smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”