For their 25th wedding anniversary, the Thompsons took a vacation on a Alaskan cruise ship. Back home, the housekeeper was doing her usual chores when the telephone rang.
“May I speak with Mr. Thompson, please?” requested the caller.
“I’m sorry, but Mr. Thompson is out of town to celebrate his anniversary,” explained the housekeeper.
“Oh, I see,” said the caller. “Then may I speak with Mrs. Thompson?”
So in case you haven't heard, I recently procured a lab pup following the loss of my beloved Grace. Now Grace was a very good dog. Though I raised her from pup, I resist taking full credit for why she turned out to be so remarkable. I really think Grace was just born that way.
The new pup, Gail, is not so naturally graceful. She has a lot of issues that need to be addressed, and I'm not above using the internet to find suggestions on how to deal with those issues.
The biggest problem with internet advice is the signal to noise ratio, and this is never truer than looking for behavioral training advice on dogs. There are a few things that work for most dogs, some things that work for some dogs, and a lot of things that will never work for your dog.
Take crating your pup... for instance... My vet even thought this was a great idea. This. did. not. work.
I put the crate in the kitchen, lined it with a cozy comforter, filled it with toys, played with her in and around it for a few days. Fed her treats and food in it. So far so good, right? Then we put the door on it, and we tried a few sessions where she spent time in it, but then let her out if she became agitated, and always positive rewards! Great! But then it's time to go back to work...
What I came home to... Oh God... I'm still having nightmares...
Not only had she shit in her properly sized crate, she also managed to roll around in it, and stomp a considerable amount of the excrement through the cage, creating a fine spray of shit all over the kitchen.
That crate is in the city dump now. When I leave for work, I closed the doors to certain rooms, but otherwise Gail now has free roam of the house. Other than having to clean the pee and the poo from the carpets and tossing out the latest shreds from the remains of the couch, there really aren't any behavioral problems to which I can speak...
...without fear of repercussions.
Kudos
Do you like what you're reading? Do you want to help out? Head on over to my Patreon-- Oh wait. I don't have one of those... Yet. In the meantime, you can help out by heading on over to our submission page and dropping off a joke that you've either found on the internet, or even some [OC] you made by yourself. You can also send the jokes to my email at flush2x@gmail.com like Glenn and George do.
Oh, in case you were wondering which jokes were Glenn's and which came from George last week, it was a trick: They were all from George.
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