Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

9] Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
8] Life is sexually transmitted.
7] Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
6] Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
5] Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
4] Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
3] All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
2] In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
1] Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

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