John Wayne Toilet Paper

Agnes went to the store to buy some toilet paper. She was a bit overwhelmed by the selection and asked a clerk for assistance. “So what are all these different options on all these toilet papers?” she asked.

The clerk explained, “Well some of them have ripples to help clean better, some have two ply for added strength, some have built in lotion for softness…”

“That’s all good and well, but I’m living on a fixed income. Which one is the cheapest?” asked Agnes.

“Here you go, Ma’am,” said the clerk as he handed Agnes a roll of tissue.

“And what brand is this?” She asked skeptically.

“It’s our store brand,” explained the clerk. “It doesn’t really have a name.”

Agnes bought the toilet paper and took it home. A week later she was back at the grocery shopping and ran into the clerk from the week before.

“I think I’ve got the perfect name for that toilet paper you sold me,” said Agnes. “You should call it John Wayne.”

“And why is that?” asked the clerk.

Agnes replied, “Because it’s rough, it’s tough, and it don’t take shit off of nobody!”

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