It’s New Year’s Eve! Happy 2012!

Mary left to go to her job as a waitress at the local bar on New Year’s eve. On her way there she dropped a coin in a beggar’s cup. The beggar transformed into a magical genie and said, “At the stroke of midnight you will be granted one wish. Use it wisely.” The genie then vanished into a puff of smoke.

Slightly shaken, Mary continued on her way. When she arrived the bar was very noisy and filled with a lot of men, but very few women. She also noticed that almost all of them had on their wedding rings. “How sad,” she thought, “that these men are not home with their wives to celebrate the New Year.

As she waited on the tables she grew more and more disappointed that they were out celebrating without their wives. As the clock struck midnight she made her wish, “I wish all these men were standing next to the one person who makes their miserable existence bearable!”

The bartender was immediately crushed to death.

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in.  A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.  –Bill Vaughan

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