Two Irish mothers were bragging about their sons.
The first one said, “My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.”
Not to be outdone, the second boasted, “Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn’t he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn’t touched a drop of liquor in all that time.”
“My word,” said the first mother, “You must be so proud.”
“I am,” announced the second, “And when he’s paroled next month, I’m going to throw him a big party.”