Marv always brought along several condoms when travelling to sites of religious significance. He would then discreetly rub the condoms against artifacts of faith.
Bob, his traveling companion and friend, having witnessed him do this at several major Judeo-Christian sites, asked, “Marv why do you keep doing that. It’s embarrassing! What if you get caught?”
Marv explained, “By blessing these condoms on these artifacts, I can honestly tell any woman I go to bed with that I’ll be able to fuck the hell out of her.”