The weight of the world became too much for Johnny so one day he left it all behind and headed for mountains to live alone and off grid. Johnny enjoyed his life for the most part but at times he missed being around people. At one of these low points a big burley mountain man stopped in and introduced himself . He lived a few miles up the mountain. He told Johnny of a party he was going to have and wanted Johnny to come. The man said now there will be food, probably singin and dancing. Johnny smiled thinking this is just what I need and said I like food and dancin. The man said maybe a little drinkin. Johnny said great I like to drink. The old man said sex, now there will probably quite a bit of sex goin on. Again Johnny smiled, I like havin sex. By the way what should I wear? The old man said “hell son don’t make much difference, just gonna be me and you!!!”
Gail’s Pic of the Week
I'm Still Kickin'
I am still on the fence with my new job. Sometimes I think it will work out, but then things go badly, and I end up wishing I had stuck to my original plan of working as an Amazon delivery driver. It really is starting to feel like I am trapped in an abusive relationship.
Only I am not trapped. If this keeps up much longer, I will bail and go with my original plan A. The money is good at my new job, but it ain't that good. Amazon drivers work ten hour days four days a week. Three days off every week? YES PLEASE!
Overtime is available too, so that's also nice.
Thanks again for leaving us jokes on the submission page. Eventually things will have to get back to normal... whatever normal is anymore.
The Golden Soapbox
GET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic and a personal blog in the sidebar that updates on the weekends. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.
Jokes are generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. If you would like to contribute, please check out our submission page, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. If you know anyone who constantly e-mails you jokes, forward them to us! We’ll take what we can get!
So what makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and we make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
(Just thought you might like to know.)
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