Getting Out Of The Army

True story! My contract is up, and I’m finally leaving the military. I’ve met a lot of really excellent people during my time as a soldier. Here is a short list of the things my Officers and NCO’s have had to say about me:

• I would not breed from this soldier.
• This soldier is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.
• When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
• He would be out of his depth in a puddle.
• Technically sound, but socially impossible.
• This soldier reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
• This soldier has delusions of adequacy.
• Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
• He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
• This soldier should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
• This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

I’m going to miss the Army! :.-)