Dog Peeves

So what irks man’s best friend? Here’s a list of 10 things that might just be your pooch’s top 10 pet peeves:

1. Passing gas and blaming it on me… not funny… not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking… I’M A DOG, YOU NUMBSKULL!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Woooo-Hooooooo! Oh, what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re just jealous.

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