A brunette, redhead, and blonde were driving across the desert when their vehicle suffered a severe break down.
Realizing they would have to brave the rest of the journey on foot, the brunette said, “It will be a perilous trip. I will carry these jugs of water so we won’t die of thirst.”
Seeing the selflessness of her companion, the redhead said, “This journey could last for days. I will carry our supply of food so we won’t suffer hunger.”
Not to be outdone, the blonde chimed in, “And I’ll bring the car door. That way in case we get hot, we can roll down the window!”
This isn’t bad, but I swear I read it on Usenet back when Usenet was a thing. (rec.humor.funny?) It’s hard to laugh when a joke is so long in the tooth.
You know, when George sends me these jokes, I usually have to re-write them. Present or mismatched tenses, first person narratives, lines beginning with greater than signs, bizarre punctuation, and of course, tons of typos. I have no doubt that this particular joke was a copy/paste from usenet. How do I know?
Back in the late ’80s, I used to have a Vax account at the local university. I also ran a local BBS on a 286 computer with a 20mb hard drive and a 2400bps modem. My friends were computer geeks, and I was an outsider even among the outsiders. Nevertheless, as everyone I knew started to spread out and enter into their soul sucking careers, I still kept in touch with them through the e-mails they would send. They were filled with funny pictures and jokes… the same old jokes that we had passed around time and time again over the BBS’s and Vax accounts.
By the end of the ’90s, BBS’s were mostly gone. I had taken a factory job and started drinking with an old Army Sergeant at a local bar. (Yeah, this was the same guy who eventually got me to go into the Army.) He always had a joke to tell, but cautioned me that he had also heard them all. “All jokes are old jokes,” he’d say, and if I told him a joke, he’d be able to tell me an earlier version from whence it was derived.
In the early 2000’s, my attempts at making a notable website was not successful. There were a lot of discussions back then about intellectual property, and technically literate people were a little paranoid about putting a lot of work into something, only to have a bunch of lawyers tear it down because someone else could claim ownership of the IP.
After my upteenth failed attempt at creating a non-cringy vanity site, I had this idea to take all the jokes my friends would e-mail me and put them in a website that came to be known as “Flush Twice”. Since the jokes were mostly old jokes that one could easily find in a usenet news group, it was unlikely that posting them to a website would result in a DMCA take down.
So for you, this is an old joke that is tired and worn out, but for me, it’s a piece of my history. It reminds me of a time when I was hanging out with my friends, geeking out on computer tech, going to Pink Floyd laser shows at the Boonshoft Museum, checking out Hamvention at Hara Arena, and climbing onto the rooftop of an abandoned building so we could shoot fireworks into the night.
As mentioned a few weeks ago, I lost my beloved orange tabby, Alex, on June 19, 2025. While he had an amazing 16 year run, his passing came much sooner than it should have. I still miss him dearly.
Fortunately cats are pretty easy to come by. All you need is Craigslist and a little patience. After watching religiously for about 7 weeks, anyone could find the exact cat they were looking for... and that's how I got Murphy! Come to think of it, that's kinda how I got Alex as well.
Murphy was born on June 22, 2025. This tasty little hash brown was listed Tuesday night. I texted the number the next morning and went right round to go see him that afternoon. He was perfect, so I paid the $10 "rehoming" fee and took him to be my newest, bestest buddy.
Ten bucks probably sounds like a pretty good deal, right? Well... Yesterday he had his first vet appointment, and the bill wasn't cheap. I already knew he had ear mites because he had been scratching at his ears, so I swabbed them and looked at it under an old microscope of mine. Let's just say they threw in the ear mite cleaning FOR FREE because they were already able to cover a yacht payment with everything else they charged me for!
His follow up booster shot is in 3 weeks. Cha-ching! smh.
As of this Sunday, I've had him a total of about 4 days, and so far he's cost me well over $500! At least he's comfortable and feels right at home. While he can't jump up on the bed yet, his needle like claws allow him to climb up the side of the mattress like Spider-cat, and then he likes to snuggle up with me an Gail... Which kinda worries me, cuz him being so small and all, he's liable to get flattened!
To recap: I got another cat. He's orange, he's smol, and he's a little spitfire. That's about all I have to say on the subject at the moment, but I'm sure there will be more photo ops along the way.
Pax,
-f2x
November 2025
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GET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
This isn’t bad, but I swear I read it on Usenet back when Usenet was a thing. (rec.humor.funny?) It’s hard to laugh when a joke is so long in the tooth.
You know, when George sends me these jokes, I usually have to re-write them. Present or mismatched tenses, first person narratives, lines beginning with greater than signs, bizarre punctuation, and of course, tons of typos. I have no doubt that this particular joke was a copy/paste from usenet. How do I know?
Back in the late ’80s, I used to have a Vax account at the local university. I also ran a local BBS on a 286 computer with a 20mb hard drive and a 2400bps modem. My friends were computer geeks, and I was an outsider even among the outsiders. Nevertheless, as everyone I knew started to spread out and enter into their soul sucking careers, I still kept in touch with them through the e-mails they would send. They were filled with funny pictures and jokes… the same old jokes that we had passed around time and time again over the BBS’s and Vax accounts.
By the end of the ’90s, BBS’s were mostly gone. I had taken a factory job and started drinking with an old Army Sergeant at a local bar. (Yeah, this was the same guy who eventually got me to go into the Army.) He always had a joke to tell, but cautioned me that he had also heard them all. “All jokes are old jokes,” he’d say, and if I told him a joke, he’d be able to tell me an earlier version from whence it was derived.
In the early 2000’s, my attempts at making a notable website was not successful. There were a lot of discussions back then about intellectual property, and technically literate people were a little paranoid about putting a lot of work into something, only to have a bunch of lawyers tear it down because someone else could claim ownership of the IP.
After my upteenth failed attempt at creating a non-cringy vanity site, I had this idea to take all the jokes my friends would e-mail me and put them in a website that came to be known as “Flush Twice”. Since the jokes were mostly old jokes that one could easily find in a usenet news group, it was unlikely that posting them to a website would result in a DMCA take down.
So for you, this is an old joke that is tired and worn out, but for me, it’s a piece of my history. It reminds me of a time when I was hanging out with my friends, geeking out on computer tech, going to Pink Floyd laser shows at the Boonshoft Museum, checking out Hamvention at Hara Arena, and climbing onto the rooftop of an abandoned building so we could shoot fireworks into the night.
Happy Thanksgiving.