Flush Twice is a variable panel comic. It first appeared in 2004 as a daily single panel comic featuring stick figures. The art style has evolved over time, but the original characters are still quite recognizable from the very beginning to the present.
No matter their present rank, every person who’s ever been in the military has been smoked. They euphemistically call it “corrective training”. Basically they make you do calisthenics till you puke. Push ups, flutter kicks, iron Mike’s, and many, many other incredibly simple exercises that become excruciatingly painful in a short period of time. If that’s not bad enough they are performed while your superior berates you for being a twat. It’s remarkably effective, and no one ever hits you or causes you actual physical harm. When it’s over, usually all is forgiven, and you fall back in line and carry on, lesson learned.
Of course I have my full Honorable Discharge, and my military days are very much over now, but I decided the stories would be more interesting if Tyler aka PFC Knaw were back in uniform.
Although the names have been changed, this was an actual line I heard in the military. Of course I moved around a lot, so I never learned what became of that private.
As the plot thickens! OK, this pace is a little much for me. I’ll be going back to making updates only on Saturday. I just needed to give this site a much needed kick-start. See you Saturday!
I’m switching the format to a double panel because I just couldn’t figure out how to express everything in one set. I changed the theme and allowed for multiple posts to be displayed so you can just scroll down to “catch up” on the story arc.
The house I created for the comic is actually based on my actual house. Over the years I’ve taken in a few roommates. I’ve never kicked anyone out before. They more or less kicked themselves out.
I’m getting pretty old now. OK, I’m not actually old old, but I’m not a kid anymore either. One of the things I’ve noticed is that as friends come and go, they mostly just go, and replacements are pretty hard to find. Do what you can to hang on to your friends.
So it's been kind of a mixed bag this year. Sadly, my Aunt Pam passed away back in February, then my cat, Alex, died in June. On the plus side, I got Murphy in August, and I finally managed to pay off what was left of my old revolving credit card debt that I've had hanging over me for 40 years.
Born on June 22, 2025, Murphy is about 6 months old as of this post. I picked him up off Craig's List for $10 when he was about 7 weeks old. Since then I've spent about $1300 over 5 vet visits to make sure he got all his shots and yes that includes neutering. Where Alex merely tolerated Gail, Murphy adores her. and the two are regularly seen snuggling up to one another. Those photos aren't staged. These two are really that close.
In spite of everything, I'm still gainfully employed. it's highly doubtful AI is going to take my job anytime soon, so I guess I can be thankful for that. On the other hand I recently found out I have chronic kidney disease, so that's no beuno. I won't find out until January if lifestyle and medication changes are going to be enough to keep it from progressing. Fingers crossed.
On a lighter note, I've started occasionally live-streaming Tarot card readings on Twitch. No, I don't actually believe in magical mumbo-jumbo, but there is an art to the craft. I look at Tarot as basically being psychology with flashcards. There are 78 cards, and each card can have different and multiple meanings depending on its context. When you know what you're doing you can ALWAYS match randomly dealt cards to the context. Form a coherent narrative around the cards and you can actually gain an altered perspective on your situation that may give you more confidence in facing your problems.
So that's about it for 2025. Not gonna lie: While it wasn't all bad, this year sucked pretty hard. I can't make any promises, but I fully intend on putting out more than 2 comics in 2026, and I might even include a few more jokes and rants.
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
