The Annotated Thermometer

With winter underway, we thought it would be nice to explain what one can expect with the falling seasonal temperatures.
+60 F (+15 C) Californians put on sweaters, if they can find one in their wardrobe.
+50 F (+10 C) Miami residents turn on the heat.
+40 F (+5 C) You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.
+35 F (+2 C) Italian cars don’t start.
+32 F (0 C) Water freezes.
+30 F (-1 C) You plan your vacation to Australia. Minnesotans put on t-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. English cars don’t start.
+25 F (-4 C) Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
+20 F (-7 C) You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacations further south.
+15 F (-10 C) French cars don’t start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Your cat insists on sleeping in bed with you.
+10 F (-12 C) Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.
+5 F (-15 C) You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don’t start.
+0 F (-18 C) Alaskans put on t-shirts. Too cold to skate.
-10 F (-23 C). German cars don’t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 F (-26 C) You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 F (-30 C) Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don’t start.
-25 F (-32 C) Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 F (-34 C) You plan a two-week hot bath. The mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don’t start.
-40 F (-40 C) Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip south.
-50 F (-46 C) Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 F (-62 C) Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south.
-90 F (-68 C) Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.