Tim had just been pulled over by a local deputy, “Sir, were you aware that you were going 50 in a 35?”
Looking the deputy square in the eye, Tim said, “Well, I probably got a little carried away drag racing that other car.”
The deputy looked around, but there were no other cars. “Have you been drinking today, Sir?” he asked.
“Well, I’ve probably had about three or four shots a whisky. It takes the edge off the cocaine,” said Tim in a very calm matter of fact manner.
“I’m going to have to ask you to step out of your vehicle, Sir,” said the deputy. “Are there any weapons or drugs in the vehicle that I should be aware of?”
“Well, there’s about 5 kilos of heroine in the glove box, and a sawed off AR-15 under my seat,” Tim politely informed the officer, “But please don’t open the trunk or the man I just kidnapped might escape.”
With that, the deputy pulled his service weapon and aimed it at Tim, “Sir, keep your hands where I can see them, get out of the vehicle and lay down on the ground!” Then he grabbed his radio handset and called for immediate backup.
It wasn’t even two minutes, and the sheriff was pulling up to the scene with lights and sirens. The deputy explained that there was a man in the trunk but when they opened it, the trunk was completely empty. Then the deputy explained that there were drugs in the glove box and a weapon under the driver’s seat, but a complete search of the car turned up nothing. They even gave Tim a roadside breathalyser that returned a solid zero point zero.
The deputy was a little bewildered when Tim took the sheriff off to the side and said, “That cop over there must be losing it! So far he’s tried to convince you I was drunk, armed, trafficking drugs, and was kidnapping people! What else is he gonna come up with? That I was speeding too?”
Gail’s Sunday Pic
Sunday, December 21, 2025
2025 Year in Review
So it's been kind of a mixed bag this year. Sadly, my Aunt Pam passed away back in February, then my cat, Alex, died in June. On the plus side, I got Murphy in August, and I finally managed to pay off what was left of my old revolving credit card debt that I've had hanging over me for 40 years.
Born on June 22, 2025, Murphy is about 6 months old as of this post. I picked him up off Craig's List for $10 when he was about 7 weeks old. Since then I've spent about $1300 over 5 vet visits to make sure he got all his shots and yes that includes neutering. Where Alex merely tolerated Gail, Murphy adores her. and the two are regularly seen snuggling up to one another. Those photos aren't staged. These two are really that close.
In spite of everything, I'm still gainfully employed. it's highly doubtful AI is going to take my job anytime soon, so I guess I can be thankful for that. On the other hand I recently found out I have chronic kidney disease, so that's no beuno. I won't find out until January if lifestyle and medication changes are going to be enough to keep it from progressing. Fingers crossed.
On a lighter note, I've started occasionally live-streaming Tarot card readings on Twitch. No, I don't actually believe in magical mumbo-jumbo, but there is an art to the craft. I look at Tarot as basically being psychology with flashcards. There are 78 cards, and each card can have different and multiple meanings depending on its context. When you know what you're doing you can ALWAYS match randomly dealt cards to the context. Form a coherent narrative around the cards and you can actually gain an altered perspective on your situation that may give you more confidence in facing your problems.
So that's about it for 2025. Not gonna lie: While it wasn't all bad, this year sucked pretty hard. I can't make any promises, but I fully intend on putting out more than 2 comics in 2026, and I might even include a few more jokes and rants.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!
Pax,
-f2x
