Gay Joke Parade.

What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don’t do dick!

What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.

What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!

What’s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everyone yells, “Ride that sucker”

Why do so many gays have mustaches?
To hide the stretch marks.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter?
Only came in male boxes.

When in Greece, how do you separate the men from the boys?
With a crowbar.

What did one gay sperm say to another?
“How do we find an egg in all of this shit?”

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

What’s the favorite pickup line in a gay bar?
“May I push your stool in?”

Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
He found a hare up his ass.

Did you hear about the gay truckers?
They exchanged loads

Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
They went outside to exchange blows

Did you hear about the two gay judges?
They tried each other.

Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for “lesbian”.
It has been changed to “vagitarian”.

Did you know 70% of the gay population were born that way?
The other 30% were sucked into it.

Hear about the new gay sitcom?
“Leave it, it’s Beaver.”

How can you tell if you’re watching a gay Western?
The entire cast is hung.

How do you give a blind queer a thrill?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.

What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats.

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
Well hung.

What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A tran-sister.

What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.

What do you call two lesbians with their period?
Finger painting.

What do you call hemorrhoids on a homosexual?
Speed bumps.

How can you tell if your refrigerator is gay?
It farts when you pull your meat out.

How do you make a lesbian anorexic eat?
Put a mink stole around her dinner plate.

Why did the gay criminal keep going back to prison?
He loved it in the can.

Did you hear about the gay guy that’s on the patch?
He’s down to four butts a day.

What’s the definition of “Tender Love?”
Two gays with hemorrhoids

What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male fraud.

Anti-Pasta Salad

Recently I prepared a boxed pasta salad. It was a bag of spiral pasta that you had to add your own Italian dressing to it, and that’s not a problem… The problem was that not only did it have the dry spiral pasta, but also dehydrated black olives. Those ugly things tasted like wood or cardboard or… Oh, trust me… it was just nasty.

A Little Pasta Humor

Did you hear? Al-Qaeda have hidden bombs in tins of Alphabet Spaghetti.

If they go off, they could spell disaster!

What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

They both wriggle when you eat them.

Here’s a new Pasta Diet guaranteed to help you lose weight!

You walk pasta grocery, you walk pasta restaurants and fast food chains, and you keep on walking pasta your refrigerator!

A rather successful American businessman went on trip to Italy to expand his company’s operations over seas. While he was there, he had an extramarital affair with a young Italian girl. Not long after, she came sobbing to him and told him that she was pregnant by him and didn’t know what to do.

“Don’t worry my dear,” he said. “I’m very wealthy and I’ll see to the child’s needs and yours so long as you can be discreet and not reveal to my wife of our affair.” The businessman gave her a mailing address and went back to the States.

Sure enough, nine months later he was sitting in his den at home when his wife came in with the mail. She remarked, “That’s strange. You got a postcard today from Italy. It says you need to send payment for three spaghetti dinners, two with meatballs, one without.

Why don’t Italians like to barbecue?

Because the spaghetti keeps falling through the grill!