The Traveler’s Confession

In order to save on vacation costs, two secretaries are rooming together.

On the first night Jill turns to her friend Sally, puts her hand on her shoulder, and says, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you about myself. I’ll be frank; I’m a lesbian.”

“That’s OK,” says Sally. “I’ll be Frank tomorrow night, I’m a lesbian
too.”

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The Clandestined Back Road

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.

They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”

The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.

“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.

“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”

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Questionable Kinship

Two good ol’ boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work at their local Nissan plant.

After a while the first guy says to the second, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”

The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even.”

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Rumors of Infidelity

A co-worker informed George that George’s wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with George’s best friend.

Worried and hurt, George ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true. He came back to the office contented and relieved.

His co-worker meandered over and asked him how it went.

“Look,” said George. “Don’t start such terrible rumors! That guy isn’t my best friend. In fact I don’t even know him!”

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A Date at the Carnival

Joe took his blind date to the carnival.

“What would you like to do first, Kim?” asked Joe.

“I jus’ wanna get weighed,” said Kim.

They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

“I jus’ wanna get weighed,” she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went.

Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.

“I jus’ wanna get weighed,” she responded.

By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, “How’d it go?”

Kim responded, “Oh, Waura, it was wousy.”

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Insurance Slogans

Four life insurance companies were in a slogan competition.

The first company came up with the slogan, “Coverage from the cradle to the grave.”

The Second one tried to improve on that with, “Coverage from the womb to the tomb.”

Not to be outdone, the third one put forth, “From the sperm to the worm.”

The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, “From the erection to the resurrection.”

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