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NOW IN OUR TWELFTH YEAR
What is Flush Twice?
This is another JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. We tell all kinds of jokes, from the cutest to the sickest every Monday through Friday. We also have a comic that might get posted on the weekends if I'm feeling up to it.
For those wondering why this site publishes so many offensive jokes, it's because offensive jokes make the reader feel uncomfortable with the taboo subject and thus enhances the underlying humor that would simply not be as funny without it.
(Just thought you might like to know.)
Monday, August 3, 2015
Today's joke was a little late due to human error... I was just sitting here sipping my coffee as I checked out the site. Apparently I still needed put today's joke up. Well, here it is. Sorry about the wait.
A guy and a girl are lying in a bed after just having sex.
The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests.
The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, “Man oh Man, I finally did it! I’m no longer a virgin.”
The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, “Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?”
“Well,” the guy explains, “I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity.”
Astounded, the girl replies, “So you really love me?”
“Oh God no!” the guy says. “I just got sick of waiting.”
A recently retired older man had just returned from the Social Security office with his first check.
His wife was curious as to how he got the check since he absentmindedly left the house without his wallet or any other form of ID.
The man replied, “I just unbuttoned my shirt and showed them all the gray hair on my chest and they took that as proof of my age.”
“Well get back down there and pull down your pants,” she squawked. “Then you can get disability too!”
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbor’s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two pets apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds; rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain, unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet answered, “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back, and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he’ll be able to withdraw.”
“Do you really think that will work?” she asked.
“Well, it just worked on me.” he replied.
It’s been a while since my last comic, so I’m a little rusty. Today’s comic is the result of me tinkering around on the new computer. I was setting things up and decided to try creating a comic. I think this new computer will do fine.
BTW: There’s another comic in the queue for next Saturday if you’re interested.