Rabbits and Foxes

Two Rabbits were running from a group of foxes. They hid in a pile of hay, but the foxes were still out there waiting.

One rabbit said to the other, “OK, we can either run for it or stay here and out number them.”

“We’re going to make a run for it, you idiot,” said the other rabbit. “We’re brothers!”

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The Broken Leg

“How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man’s broken leg.

“Well Doc, 25 years ago…”

“Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning.”

“Like I was saying, It was 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm. After I’d gone to bed on that very night, the farmer’s beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said, ‘No, everything is fine.’ ‘Are you sure?’ she asked. ‘I’m sure,’ I said. ‘Isn’t there anything I can do for you?’ she wanted to know. ‘I reckon not,’ I replied.”

“Excuse me,” said the doctor, “What does this story have to do with your leg?”

“Well, I was patching the roof this morning,” the farmhand explained, “When it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the house!”

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Help Wanted

Martha walked up to the manager of a department store and asked, “Are you hiring any help?”

The manager looked down his nose at her and said, “No, we already have all the staff we need.”

“That’s great,” replied Martha. “Would you mind getting one of them to wait on me?”

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Hair Doesn’t Grow on a Busy Street

Out of the blue a young daughter, apparently already pondering the mysteries of her small world asked, “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?.”

“He thinks a lot,” her mother off-handedly responded, now pleased with herself for coming up with a quick answer that her husband would no doubt concur with, and at the same time answer her daughter’s puzzlement over her daddy’s growing baldness.

Or she was, until the daughter thought for a second and remarked, “Hmmm, so how come you have so much hair?”

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Eight Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active

Not that you ever wanted to know, but if you happen to notice these things at Grandma’s house this holiday season, it could indicate they are still sexually active.

8. You find a pair of edible Depends on the bedroom floor.
7. Lately, they’ve been putting their teeth in the same glass at night.
6. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn”.
5. You find your grandma cuffed to her walker.
4. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
3. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.
2. Grandma starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
1. Their Craftmatic adjustable bed is set for “doggy style”.

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