In Search of Land
If houses were cars, my house would be a very used base model compact sedan that had serious cosmetic defects but otherwise ran well. Obviously the trade in value would garner far less than a comparable house would sell due to the considerable amount of cosmetic disrepair, but as it is, I find it quite livable. There’s a roof over my head, central HVAC, the appliances, electrical, and plumbing all work, and the structure is quite sound. Alas, I yearn for more… and always have.
A house nestled into the side of a wooded hill, a field down below, a nearby creek that flows into a river, and a long way off from the nearest neighbor. Add to that my own solar farm, water treatment, and sustainable off grid capability, and that is a place I would want to call home.
But who am I kidding. I barely make enough to pay my bills as it is. This is where the idea of bootstrapping a homestead comes in. All I have to do is find the land, right? Weird thing is, a lot of the land is already snatched up, and the ones that are available are kind of… well… shitty and overpriced. Lots without any houses on 0.3 acres are going for $35,000 and up, and it is pretty obvious they are subdivision lots slated for HOA housing. Not what I had in mind.
Recently I spied a steal. $25,000 for a 4 bedroom farmhouse on 2 acres with a barn and some other outbuilding. Just think about it: With a $5000 down payment the monthly payments would be just over a hundred bucks. Sign me up, right?! Turns out it was false advertising. The home was up for auction with a starting bid of $25,000. They want cash on the barrel and it’s guaranteed it ain’t going for no paltry $25,000.
Honestly, when I bought my home 27 days before 9/11, housing prices were at an all time high, and looked like they were only going to go up. I had no intention of living here for very long. My plan was to fix it up and flip it, but the market cratered and my house got devalued to less than half what I paid. It has been 20 years, and only in the last two years did my house suddenly emerge from being under water as home prices have recently soared.I will probably die in this house… Either that, or as a homeless bum on the street. Moving anywhere else would be too expensive, and the rent is seriously too damn high.
But maybe… just maybe… if I keep my eyes peeled… I might find that plot of land out in the countryside for a song. Then I can build my tiny home on it with solar panels, rain barrels, and a composting toilet. I will finally be able to spend my golden years glamping with my dog.
Kudos
Sorry the rant was late. Thanks for the jokes TOR. The submission page is at the ready for more jokes, otherwise, there’s always reddit.
Oh, and sorry about the glitch last week. I forgot to hit the schedule button on Wednesday thru Friday’s jokes. Oops.
Pax,
-f2x
I hate to have to tell you this, but someone must have been impersonating me. I haven’t submitted a joke in several weeks. (I know, sleeping on the job. I’ve been spam-catching on another site and working on my own stuff instead.)
Oh, my bad. It was probably Big D then, but he hasn’t claimed responsibility for it either. Well whoever it was, thanks for the jokes.