Let’s talk about Toni
Down in the south they have this little quirk where gossips can drag all your dirty laundry out behind your back, and it’s OK just so long as they follow it with “bless her little heart”. As one person explained it to me, you have to bless their heart after you talk about them so you don’t go to hell.
In keeping with my goal of creating new profile pages on my “blessed” characters, we take a moment this week to learn about Toni. Her full name is actually Britney Antoinette Tidanse, and she’s the amalgamation of so many people I’ve known. Toni isn’t known for being very bright. She’s quite superstitious, and believes what she reads in the tabloid press. She shops at drug stores, dollar stores, and her favorite color is neon. With a straight face, she will tell you that she never wears makeup, in spite of the fact that she’s wearing way too much while she’s telling you this. She has a habit of dating Mr. Wrong, (or in this case Tyler), and even if she didn’t, Mr. Right actively avoids this intellectual train wreck. She’s a good person though, and she’s starting to learn what it takes to get through this thing we call life… Bless her little heart.
OK, thanks for tuning in, and a HUGE thanks to my coworkers, especially Patti, who helped me come up with with this week’s punchline. Sorry this comic was late today, and Sunday’s rant is way behind schedule as well.