Flush Twice is a variable panel comic. It first appeared in 2004 as a daily single panel comic featuring stick figures. The art style has evolved over time, but the original characters are still quite recognizable from the very beginning to the present.
Well, Birdie’s back! The biggest problem with female characters is getting the breasts just right. Too big, and people just fixate on the breasts, missing any joke there might have been. On the other hand, females without them don’t look like females. Looking back I saw a lot of really bad boobs on my female characters, and this leads me to believe that I just don’t spend enough time studying breasts. Which leads me to my new task for the rest of the year. I plan on studying every female’s breasts that I encounter. It’s going to be rough, but I think it will be worth it.
You know, before I joined the Army, getting every day things done always seemed so much easier. Of course trying to cope with the loss of my thyroid hasn’t made this handicap any easier.
With my medical bills (and that include vet as well) smacking me left and right, I really need to save every last nickle I can lay hands on… Then again, I’ll just extend my credit a little further so I can continue living my lavish lifestyle.
Yes, I’ve finally decided to end my extended hiatus. You’ll probably notice the characters have a new look. The panel is bigger too. They almost look like how I see them in my head. Almost… I really just want to start over again, but I really hate the idea of breaking the internet if I erase the past. So it’s going to be interesting to see how this all pans out. BTW, I’ve got the next three Saturdays after today already lined up. If I get too far ahead I’ll start publishing daily again…
Ever been “that guy”. Yeah, it sucks to be in that position. Of course loathsome seething always makes for a laugh a minute, so next week we’ll move on to more family oriented topics such as getting blood stains out of a diaper.
Well, I’m fairly certain that this is a huge failure on my part. I can’t believe I actually thought this “new look” was ever acceptable enough to publish. The “throat-tits” look like they were just Velcroed onto the outside of her shirt. I mean, there are just so many things wrong with this panel. I should never have posted it.
*Update 2015: Don’t ask, don’t tell has long since been repealed, and while it’s been a few years since I’ve been in the Army, I get the impression that most of the soldiers aren’t really overly concerned by it.
Recently I prepared a boxed pasta salad. It was a bag of spiral pasta that you had to add your own Italian dressing to it, and that’s not a problem… The problem was that not only did it have the dry spiral pasta, but also dehydrated black olives. Those ugly things tasted like wood or cardboard or… Oh, trust me… it was just nasty.
Sometimes I can be cruel. I mean really, really cruel. Once I said to a spinster shrew: “Look at me, now look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man. Sadly, you don’t even have a man.” Believe it or not, over time her personality has gotten better. We still eat lunch together.
Look, I realize that it’s been a while since I posted any new updates. Things have been a little wacky for me lately. I’m currently recovering from yet another surgery, so I thought I go ahead and post a new update.
So it's been kind of a mixed bag this year. Sadly, my Aunt Pam passed away back in February, then my cat, Alex, died in June. On the plus side, I got Murphy in August, and I finally managed to pay off what was left of my old revolving credit card debt that I've had hanging over me for 40 years.
Born on June 22, 2025, Murphy is about 6 months old as of this post. I picked him up off Craig's List for $10 when he was about 7 weeks old. Since then I've spent about $1300 over 5 vet visits to make sure he got all his shots and yes that includes neutering. Where Alex merely tolerated Gail, Murphy adores her. and the two are regularly seen snuggling up to one another. Those photos aren't staged. These two are really that close.
In spite of everything, I'm still gainfully employed. it's highly doubtful AI is going to take my job anytime soon, so I guess I can be thankful for that. On the other hand I recently found out I have chronic kidney disease, so that's no beuno. I won't find out until January if lifestyle and medication changes are going to be enough to keep it from progressing. Fingers crossed.
On a lighter note, I've started occasionally live-streaming Tarot card readings on Twitch. No, I don't actually believe in magical mumbo-jumbo, but there is an art to the craft. I look at Tarot as basically being psychology with flashcards. There are 78 cards, and each card can have different and multiple meanings depending on its context. When you know what you're doing you can ALWAYS match randomly dealt cards to the context. Form a coherent narrative around the cards and you can actually gain an altered perspective on your situation that may give you more confidence in facing your problems.
So that's about it for 2025. Not gonna lie: While it wasn't all bad, this year sucked pretty hard. I can't make any promises, but I fully intend on putting out more than 2 comics in 2026, and I might even include a few more jokes and rants.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!
Pax,
-f2x
August 2026
S
M
T
W
T
F
S
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
GET THE PLUNGER!
What is Flush Twice?
Flush Twice has been around since May of 2003. It started out as a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes were published every weekday. Over the years, good jokes were increasingly hard to come by, and eventually they got so rare that I just stopped trying to publish them.
Since 2004 there has also been an eponymous comic. I still occasionally publish a new one on Saturdays. It’s also rare anymore, but sometimes it happens.
Here lately I’ve been posting a “Link of the Day”. For the time being, I will be featuring a new website from my enormous collection of bookmarked websites every weekday. None of it is solicited promotions, and no one is paying me to feature their site. These are just websites that at one time I thought were interesting enough to add to my bookmarks folder.
I highly encourage using some kind of ad blocking extension before clicking on any of these links. You’ll also hear me say this phrase a lot about these posts: “They can’t all be winners.” But it’s better than just leaving the site abandoned.
The jokes were generously provided by friends and visitors such as yourself. I want to express my eternal thanks to everyone over the years who helped contribute to the collection.
So what is it that makes a joke funny?
It all boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.
Many of the jokes on this site are offensive, and I make no apologies for it. Offensive jokes work by making the reader uncomfortable through the use of a taboo subject thus enhancing the underlying humor. Without the offensive element, the joke would simply not be as funny.
