Monthly Archives: June 2010

Expensive Nuts

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A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he’s ever seen in his life.  The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise, and asks:  “Ess-tues me ser?”

“Yes sir,” replied the clerk.
“Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?”
“Pistachio’s?  They’re six dollars a pound.”
“SSit!” The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks “Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?”
“Almonds?  They’re seven fifty a pound.”
“SSIT!  tas pensive” Replied the tongue-tied man.
“Welp, how bout your pikanns?”
“Pecans?  They’re on sale today, they’re only four fifty a pound.”
“Welp, Ssit.  Just div me a poulnd of dose dhen.”
“Alright then,” says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans.
Then, the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk:”Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan’t hep it.”
The clerk replies with a smile.  “Oh sir, you don’t have to thank me for that.  I don’t make fun of anybody, for any thing!  I don’t know if you noticed, or not, but I have a rather large nose.”
The tongue-tied guy replies, “Oh, is dat your noze?  I tought dat wuz your penuz since your nutz arr so damn high!”