A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he’s ever seen in his life. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise, and asks: “Ess-tues me ser?”
“Yes sir,” replied the clerk.
“Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?”
“Pistachio’s? They’re six dollars a pound.”
“SSit!” The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks “Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?”
“Almonds? They’re seven fifty a pound.”
“SSIT! tas pensive” Replied the tongue-tied man.
“Welp, how bout your pikanns?”
“Pecans? They’re on sale today, they’re only four fifty a pound.”
“Welp, Ssit. Just div me a poulnd of dose dhen.”
“Alright then,” says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans.
Then, the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk:”Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan’t hep it.”
The clerk replies with a smile. “Oh sir, you don’t have to thank me for that. I don’t make fun of anybody, for any thing! I don’t know if you noticed, or not, but I have a rather large nose.”
The tongue-tied guy replies, “Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your penuz since your nutz arr so damn high!”