Let’s face it… Some guys don’t really care.

A man goes to his best friend’s house to watch the hockey game. At the end of the first period the man says to his friend, “You know, we’ve been friends for a long time and I’ve always wanted to tell you this, but I really want to fuck your wife.”

The friend thinks for a moment before replying, “Ok. You can fuck my wife, but promise me one thing. You MUST NOT go down on her.”

The man says ok, goes upstairs and fucks his friend’s wife, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t resist the urge to go down on her. He comes back just as the second period is starting and says to his friend, “Man, I’m really sorry, but I couldn’t resist the urge to go down on your wife. The weirdest thing happened when I did it though… I got a mouth full of rice.”

The friend laughs and says, “That wasn’t rice, she’s been dead for a month!”


So you thought that wasn’t bad enough?


An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

“What are you so happy about?” asks the barman.

“Well, I’ll tell you,” replies the ugly man. “You know I live by the railway? Well, on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks like in the films. I ran over, cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to cut a long story short I scored big time. We screwed all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top.”

“Fantastic!” exclaimed the barman. “You lucky sod. Was she pretty?”

“Dunno,” replied the man. “Never found the head!”

Borrowing

With my medical bills (and that include vet as well) smacking me left and right, I really need to save every last nickle I can lay hands on… Then again, I’ll just extend my credit a little further so I can continue living my lavish lifestyle.

The Coma Patient

One day a nurse is giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath and notices the heartbeat change slightly when the sponge was in her crotch.

Excitedly, she goes to the phone and calls the woman’s husband and tells him to come to the hospital.

When he gets there the nurse tells him that she thinks that his wife could be helped perhaps by a little bit of oral sex, that maybe it is crazy but it just might work. The man goes into his wife’s booth. A couple of minutes later her heartbeat flat-lines. The man walks out, and the nurse stunned asks “What happened?”

The man replies “I think she choked”

Imma Let You Finish… When I leave.

Yes, I’ve finally decided to end my extended hiatus. You’ll probably notice the characters have a new look. The panel is bigger too. They almost look like how I see them in my head. Almost… I really just want to start over again, but I really hate the idea of breaking the internet if I erase the past. So it’s going to be interesting to see how this all pans out. BTW, I’ve got the next three Saturdays after today already lined up. If I get too far ahead I’ll start publishing daily again…

How Jawbreakers Cure Broken Jaws

A woman goes to the doctor. She says to him “Every time my husband comes home, he ends up attacking me, and it’s giving me bruises everywhere and I just want it to stop.”

The doctor replies “I have just the trick. What you need to do is get a jawbreaker, and whenever your husband comes home, just put it in your mouth and suck on it. No matter what, just keep sucking on it. Your problems will go away in no time.”

The woman seems surprised by this trick, but she agrees to try it.

One month later, the woman returns to the doctor. With excitement, she tells him that the jawbreaker trick has worked, and that her husband no longer hurts her. The doctor responds “Good, now you know the value of keeping your mouth shut.”