Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, ‘Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree, & replies, ‘It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.’
Just Like A Baby
A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make; the reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested. If the guy wishes to cancel the wedding, it is okay with her.
The guy thought about it for a while, and said he does not mind she is flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage.
Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also wants to make a confession; he said below his waist, it is just like a baby. If the girl wants to cancel the marriage, it is okay with him.
The girl thought about it for a while and said that she does not mind, and she also believed there are other things far more important than sex in a marriage.
They were happy that they were honest with each other. They went on to Vegas and got married.
On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes; she is as flat as a washboard.
Finally, the guy took off his clothes. After one glance at the guy’s naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.
When she became conscious, the guy asked, “I told you before we got married. Why did you still faint?”
The girl said, “You told me it was just like a baby.”
The guy replied, “It is! 8 pounds and 21 inches.”