Brandon Dogie

Characters BrandonBrandon Dogie (rhymes with hoagie) is the main protagonist. He’s the brown haired, brown eyed guy wearing the red shirt. He works in the IT department at a small branch of a multinational corporation. He’s got a house with two roommates, and his “significant other” also happens to be his boss, Alexis. It gets a little meta, but Brandon is also the author and maintainer of a comical website called “Flush Twice” where everyone in his life is also a character in his comic. Naturally, this leads to some amateurish breaking of the fourth wall, but that’s been the premise since the beginning of the comic, and it’s not likely to ever change.

Brandon’s house is actually modeled after my own house, and he probably voices my own opinions more than the other characters, but not always. Keep in mind that Brandon is not quite my alter ego. He, like virtually every character on here, is an amalgamation of different people in my life.

Brandon has the most developed back-story of all the Flush Twice characters. It goes all the way back to his grandparents who lived on a farm and had three daughters. While the daughters were still teenagers, their father died and the mother re-married one of the farm hands. He didn’t actually love the woman, but looked upon it as an opportunity to gain control of the farm. As each of the daughters turned 18, he turned them out. The first became a stereotypical librarian spinster, and the second hooked up with the first redneck who showed interest, and immediately started squirting out kids.

Brandon’s mother was the youngest, and she married her high school sweetheart. Not long after, she became pregnant with twins. Her husband joined the Army to support his family, but was tragically killed in the line of duty. Left alone to raise two boys, she became depressed and turned to alcohol. Her husband’s parents convinced a judge she was an unfit mother and took full custody of her sons. She never saw her twin boys again and sunk even lower.

While drinking heavily at the bar, a soldier who reminded her of her husband swept her off her feet. Without even knowing his name, they had a one night stand, and then never saw him again. Nevertheless, it wasn’t long after that she discovered she was pregnant. Nine months later, Brandon was born.

Brandon’s mother had cleaned up her act, and she started seeing a man she thought was Mr. Right… Alas, after the marriage, the beatings started. At the age of five, little Brandon watched helplessly as his mother was beaten to death by his step-father. He was sent to live with his Grandmother on the farm.

Now his Grandma’s husband was not too keen on having another brat around, but nevertheless he put Brandon right to work milking cows, feeding chickens, picking crops, cleaning stalls, and every other task there was to do on the farm. It was hard work, but it helped Brandon cope with the tragedy of losing his mother.

Five years had passed, and Brandon’s grandma passed away. His step-grandpa sent the boy to live with his eldest aunt. She kept him locked in a room all day, and forbid him from making any noise. One day he accidentally knocked over a vase and broke it. After a severe spanking, she sent him to live with his other aunt.

Brandon’s other aunt was pure white trash, and so were his cousins. The cousins would frequently set Brandon up to get in trouble. When Brandon was about 13 he got arrested and sent to juvie. It was there that he met a man named Ben.

Ben was a retired Army sergeant who frequently volunteered his time to the juvenile detention center, but he took a special interest in Brandon and saw to it that the boy stayed on the straight and narrow. Ben especially made sure that Brandon got a good education so he would be able to get a decent job in computers.

Why did Ben take such a liking to Brandon? What Ben knew that no one else knew, was that Brandon was in fact his illegitimate son from that one night stand with the lonely drunken woman with whom he had committed his act of adultery. To date, he has never told Brandon the truth.

Eventually Brandon got his own house, but he wanted to have a little more spending money so he put an ad on Craigslist for a roommate… That’s how he met Dewey.

 

As mentioned before, Brandon is an amalgamation. Believe it or not – as bizarre, tragic, and unlikely as these events may seem –  all of this is woven from five different people that I’ve known.

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