Epileptic Goldfish

Sandee went to the vet with her pet goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy,” she told the vet.

The vet took a look at it and said, “It seems calm enough to me.”

“Well hold on a minute,” she said. “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”

Epileptic Goldfish
1 (10%) 1 vote

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Thoughts on the Side

Ever hear the sound of your own voice? It’s rather annoying, isn’t it? That’s how I feel whenever I go back and read some of my rants and comics. While I’m actually quite proud of much of the work I’ve done on my comic and various ramblings, there are certain desultory prose that I regard as cringe-worthy. I imagine today’s scribbling on my digital palimpsest will evoke that same sense of mortified embarrassment in a week or so.

Just so you know, the jokes on the left are taken from various friends, coworkers, emails, and occasionally other websites. While I do rewrite many of them to correct grammar, or ensure that the actual punchline lands at the end of the joke, or that the joke is consistently told in the past tense, or that silly ethic pronunciations are re-written in plain English because I refuse to do the voices… OK, you get the idea… The point is, the jokes aren’t mine. I do my best to edit them as appropriate, but I also try to keep out of it as much as possible.

As for the stuff that shows up on the right, well that is mine, and that’s where the cringe factor comes in. Many times I go back and read things I’ve written only to realize I’m reading the accidental diary of a morose clown. Oh my god! Do I really sound like that? It’s like realizing your fly was down during a semi-formal event.

Thankfully, no one I know IRL is reading any of this. Even though it’s not a secret to my coworkers, friends, and family that I run this JOTD and comic, none of them would ever bother to visit this site. Except for the times I’ve used my phone to show off a comic I made, none of them have actually seen it, and they usually dismiss it as something I made using an app or copied from something else. Seriously?! At first glance, do you actually think my comic was created on an iPad using an app developed by someone else? What’s worse, I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not!

I suppose that’s the underlying reason why I write stuff like this. It’s the reason I renamed the comic to “Pathos in the Plumbing”. Among all my family, friends, and coworkers, none of them actually care about my hobbies and interests, and when you look at it like that. it’s kind of comically sad. I live inside a monkey sphere that insulates me from people I might actually have things in common with. Writing about it is basically a kind of therapy to deal with that fact.

Pax,

-f2x

So how did you like this joke?

Office Privilege

Office Privilege

So this is one of those “starts out as one thing and then ends up totally different” comics. Originally I was just working on updating Lexi’s character page. Three hours later, her profile page is still the same, but then I got this Saturday’s comic out of it! Hmmm… Maybe I’ll just use this comic for her character profile sometime after it posts. Remind me if I forget, OK?

OK, so that about wraps that up. Thanks for stopping by and be sure to click that like button that we never seem to have because this isn’t YouTube or Facebook.

Pax

f2x

So how did you like this joke?

The Hunter in the ER

A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles.

As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said “Man, how did this happen?”

The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his testicles.

“Oh,” exclaims the doctor, “The pain must have been excruciating!”

“It was,” said the hunter. “The second worst pain in my life.”

“Second worst? What could have been worse than that?”

“Coming to the end of the chain” said the hunter.

The Hunter in the ER
5 (50%) 1 vote

The Lonely Lady

A fellow in a bar noticed a woman, always alone, coming in on a fairly regular basis. After a few weeks, he made his move.

“No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”

“That must be rather difficult.” the man remarked.

“Oh, I don’t mind too much,” she replied, “Though it has made my husband pretty upset.”

The Lonely Lady
6 (60%) 1 vote