There are a lot of really good products out there... Trouble is, the superior ones keep getting dropped. I know it's not just marketing, but great marketing can make the masses forget great products in favor of mediocre fare.

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit… well, more than a bit… had a snuggle, and she asked me if i ever had a “Sportsman’s double”.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s a mother, daughter threesome,” she replied.

“Oh,” I said, as my mind began to embrace the idea. “No I haven’t,” and I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.

We drank a bit more, then she say with a wink that tonight was my “lucky night”. I went back to her place, and as we walked in she put on the hall light and shouted upstairs, “Mom, are you still awake?”

I've got a million sarcastic responses, but it's really not a part of what I want to be anymore.

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, “You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”

A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

The redneck guessed 2 this time.
Again the proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 4. You were close, but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy,

“I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.”

Bubba replied, No it ain’t rigged, Billy Ray! My wife won twice last week.”

Sometimes you gotta wonder who's gonna kill you first... The enemy is rather elusive, but your chain of command has means and opportunity.

In a Seattle, Washington college classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple – the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

Frequently the shower room conversations start off going downhill and just seem to gain momentum.

Just in case you weren’t sure about whether or not you were a member, here’s a little self test to help you determine if perhaps you might be part of the notorious “Taliban”.

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

Internet surfers are always looking out for the next big thing on the net... Unless they're trying to be the next big thing on the net.

A Harvard man and a Yale man go into a washroom and use the urinals. After they are done, the Harvard man stopped to wash his hands, while the Yale man headed for the door.

The Harvard man looked at the Yale man disapprovingly and said, “At Harvard, we take care to wash our hands after using the lavatory.”

“Well,” the other replied, “at Yale, we know not to piss on our hands.”

A small-town country boy gets a scholarship to Harvard. While still learning to get around the place, he was trying to find the library to meet up with a study group. Lost and wandering around, he sees a man walking by and asks, “do you know where the library is at?”

The man stops, looks at him, and sniffs, “Son, at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition”.

“OK. Do you know where the library is at, asshole?”

A group of Yale students are travelling around the South on their Spring Break. They pass an old man, sitting on a porch who asked them, “Where you boys from?”

“Yale,” they reply.

The old man stands up and shouts, “WHERE YOU BOYS FROM!”