A blonde on her way home from work was caught in a hail storm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car’s tailpipe. Naturally, nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, also a blonde, came home and said, “What are you doing?”
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, “HELLLLOOOO!!!You need to roll up the windows first.”
The 8-year-old choir boy was exploring the church, when he caught the priest masturbating.
“What are you doing, Father?” he asked innocently.
“It’s called masturbating,” the priest replied. “You’ll be doing this soon.”
“Why, Father?” he asked.
The priest answered, “Because my wrist is killing me.”
Two men were drowning their sorrows at the bar. After the first one tells his tale of shame and regret, the other said, “You think that’s bad? Even though I know it’s unethical, I keep having sex with one of my patients. If any of my colleagues, staff, or clients find out, I’m sure it will ruin me!”
“I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” said the first guy. “It’s not like you’re the first doctor to fall in love with a patient.”
“Oh sure,” said the second man, “but I bet they weren’t veterinarians.”
Dirty Grandpa Harry was feeling a bit frisky one night. Not wanting to waste a rare erection he nudged Grandma laying in bed next to him.
“Hey Ethel,” he said as he lifted the sheets. “How’d you like to put your teeth around this beauty!”
Bleary eyed she reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her dentures. As she handed them to Harry, she said, “You go right ahead, but try not to disturb me.”
John was in a bar looking very dejected.
His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s my mother-in-law,” John replied, while shaking his head sadly. “I have a real problem with her.”
“Cheer up,” Steve said. “Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law.”
“Yeah,” John answered. “But I got mine pregnant.”